9/Suddenly,without another word,he unlocked my cell and silently led me out.Out of the jail,quietly and by back routes,out of the town. There,at the edge of town,he released me.And without another word,he turned back toward the town. “突然间，他二话不说地打开了牢门，悄悄地带我从后面的小路逃离了监狱，出 了小镇，就在小镇的边上，他放了我，之后便转身往回走，不曾留下一句话。 10/My life was saved by a smile. 一个微笑居然能救自己一条命。” 11/Yes,the smile-the unaffected,unplanned,natural connection between people.I tell this story in my work because I'd like people to consider that underneath all the layers we construct to protect ourselves,our dignity,our titles,our degrees,our status and our need to be seen in certain ways-underneath all that,remains the authentic,essential self.I'm not afraid to call it the soul.I really believe that if that part of you and that part of me could recognize each other,we wouldn't be enemies.We couldn't have hate or envy or fear.I sadly conclude that all those other layers,which we so carefully construct through our lives,distance and insulate us from truly contacting others.Saint-Exupery's story speaks of that magic moment when two souls recognize each other. 21
21 9/ Suddenly, without another word, he unlocked my cell and silently led me out. Out of the jail, quietly and by back routes, out of the town. There, at the edge of town, he released me. And without another word, he turned back toward the town. “突然间，他二话不说地打开了牢门，悄悄地带我从后面的小路逃离了监狱，出 了小镇，就在小镇的边上，他放了我，之后便转身往回走，不曾留下一句话。 10/ My life was saved by a smile. “一个微笑居然能救自己一条命。” 11/ Yes, the smile―the unaffected, unplanned, natural connection between people. I tell this story in my work because I’d like people to consider that underneath all the layers we construct to protect ourselves, our dignity, our titles, our degrees, our status and our need to be seen in certain ways―underneath all that, remains the authentic, essential self. I’m not afraid to call it the soul. I really believe that if that part of you and that part of me could recognize each other, we wouldn’t be enemies. We couldn’t have hate or envy or fear. I sadly conclude that all those other layers, which we so carefully construct through our lives, distance and insulate us from truly contacting others. Saint-Exupery’s story speaks of that magic moment when two souls recognize each other
是的，微笑是人与人之间最自然真挚的沟通方式，我在我的作品中讲这个故事， 因为我希望人们能仔细想想以下的事情：人常常为自己建立层层的保护膜，为 了维护尊严、头街、身分、形象等，而必须有所隐藏。我相信在这些掩饰下， 每个人都有一个真实、不带虚伪的灵魂。如果我们能用心灵去认识彼此，世间 不会有结怨成仇的憾事；恨意、妒嫉、恐惧也会不复存在。可惜的是人小心翼 翼为自己所建造的保护膜，却阻隔了自己与他人真诚相对的机会。圣艾修伯里 的这则故事，让我们见到了两颗心灵相互交流的神奇时刻。 12/I've had just a few moments like that.Falling in love is one example.And looking at a baby.Why do we smile when we see a baby?Perhaps it's because we see someone without all the defensive layers,someone whose smile for us we know to be fully genuine and without guile.And that baby-soul inside us smiles wistfully in recognition. 我也曾有过如此神奇的时刻，坠入情网是其中一刻，而看着婴儿的脸是另外一 例。为什么我们见到婴孩会微笑？也许是因为我们在他们身上见到不设防的灵 魂，还有他们纯真无邪的笑容，更引起了我们内心深处的共鸣。 22
22 是的，微笑是人与人之间最自然真挚的沟通方式，我在我的作品中讲这个故事， 因为我希望人们能仔细想想以下的事情：人常常为自己建立层层的保护膜，为 了维护尊严、头街、身分、形象等，而必须有所隐藏。我相信在这些掩饰下， 每个人都有一个真实、不带虚伪的灵魂。如果我们能用心灵去认识彼此，世间 不会有结怨成仇的憾事；恨意、妒嫉、恐惧也会不复存在。可惜的是人小心翼 翼为自己所建造的保护膜，却阻隔了自己与他人真诚相对的机会。圣艾修伯里 的这则故事，让我们见到了两颗心灵相互交流的神奇时刻。 12/ I’ve had just a few moments like that. Falling in love is one example. And looking at a baby. Why do we smile when we see a baby? Perhaps it’s because we see someone without all the defensive layers, someone whose smile for us we know to be fully genuine and without guile. And that baby-soul inside us smiles wistfully in recognition. 我也曾有过如此神奇的时刻，坠入情网是其中一刻，而看着婴儿的脸是另外一 例。为什么我们见到婴孩会微笑？也许是因为我们在他们身上见到不设防的灵 魂，还有他们纯真无邪的笑容，更引起了我们内心深处的共鸣
To Win at Marriage,Learn to lose 赢得美满婚姻，要学会认输 [1]Having been married for more than 40 years,I can attest to the truth of the following statement:to excel in the art of domestic argument,one must master the art of losing. [1]做为一个结婚40余年的人，我可以证明下面这个说法完全正确：想要在家 庭争执中得满分，首先要掌握认输的艺术。 [2]Modern psychologists are taken with the "win-win"solution.But in marriage,success resides more in "lose-lose"solutions.Out of these,both parties can win.For in the love configuration,losing gives a gift that always returns. [2]现代心理学家们都醉心于"一赢再赢”"的解决办法，而在婚姻里头，成功往往 在于采取“一输再输"的策略。因为这样，双方都可以是赢家。在爱情的天地里， 认输实际上永远是一份有回报的礼物。 [3]One day shortly after my wife and I were married,we set about picking new living-room wallpaper from a book of samples.My taste and hers were at odds. [3]婚后不久的一天，我和妻子着手从一本样品手册中挑选起居室的壁纸。我们 的爱好有了矛盾。 23
23 To Win at Marriage, Learn to lose 赢得美满婚姻,要学会认输 [1]Having been married for more than 40 years, I can attest to the truth of the following statement: to excel in the art of domestic argument, one must master the art of losing. [1]做为一个结婚 40 余年的人，我可以证明下面这个说法完全正确：想要在家 庭争执中得满分，首先要掌握认输的艺术。 [2]Modern psychologists are taken with the “win-win” solution. But in marriage, success resides more in “lose-lose” solutions. Out of these, both parties can win. For in the love configuration, losing gives a gift that always returns. [2]现代心理学家们都醉心于“一赢再赢”的解决办法，而在婚姻里头，成功往往 在于采取“一输再输”的策略。因为这样，双方都可以是赢家。在爱情的天地里， 认输实际上永远是一份有回报的礼物。 [3]One day shortly after my wife and I were married, we set about picking new living-room wallpaper from a book of samples. My taste and hers were at odds. [3]婚后不久的一天，我和妻子着手从一本样品手册中挑选起居室的壁纸。我们 的爱好有了矛盾
[4]"I like this one,"she said."That looks like a section of a diseased liver.""How can you say that?This is a classical pattern that goes all the way back to the Venetian.""The Venetian were blind.They named blinds after them,remember?I like this one.""I wouldn't hang that in hell if I were the devil." [4]我喜欢这一张。"“这张简直就像一块有病的猪肝。"“你怎么能这样说？这 可是一幅古典的古威尼斯风格的图案。"“威尼斯人都瞎眼了，后来的瞎子也都 是因威尼斯人得名，记得吗？我喜欢这一张。”“我死也不会挂那一张的。” [5]As the argument went on,my wife suddenly slammed the book shut."There are over two hundred samples in this book,"she declared."I say we spend our energy finding one that suits us both, instead of bickering over the ones we don't like. [5]在争吵中，我妻子突然用力把书一合，大声说：“这本书中有200张样品， 我们应该把精力用在找到一张我们都喜欢的样品，而不是用来争吵那些我们不 喜欢的。” [6]And that's how we settled it.Eventually we found a pattern we both liked.The "wallpaper book"became our symbol for settling the myriad issues that arise in marriage."Well,"she'd say when we couldn't agree on furniture or a place to vacation,"there are plenty of samples in the wallpaper book. 24
24 [4]“I like this one,” she said. “That looks like a section of a diseased liver.” “How can you say that? This is a classical pattern that goes all the way back to the Venetian.” “The Venetian were blind. They named blinds after them, remember? I like this one.” “I wouldn’t hang that in hell if I were the devil.” [4]“我喜欢这一张。” “这张简直就像一块有病的猪肝。” “你怎么能这样说？这 可是一幅古典的古威尼斯风格的图案。” “威尼斯人都瞎眼了，后来的瞎子也都 是因威尼斯人得名，记得吗？我喜欢这一张。” “我死也不会挂那一张的。” [5]As the argument went on, my wife suddenly slammed the book shut. “There are over two hundred samples in this book,” she declared. “I say we spend our energy finding one that suits us both, instead of bickering over the ones we don’t like.” [5]在争吵中，我妻子突然用力把书一合，大声说：“这本书中有 200 张样品， 我们应该把精力用在找到一张我们都喜欢的样品，而不是用来争吵那些我们不 喜欢的。” [6]And that’s how we settled it. Eventually we found a pattern we both liked. The “wallpaper book” became our symbol for settling the myriad issues that arise in marriage. “Well,” she’d say when we couldn’t agree on furniture or a place to vacation, “there are plenty of samples in the wallpaper book
[6]我们就这样解决了争执。最后我们终于找到了一个我们共同喜欢的图案。壁 纸样品手册成了我们解决婚姻中遇到的无数争执的一个象征。当我们在要什么 家具或去什么地方休假的意见不一时，我的妻子就说：“在壁纸样品手册里有的 是样品呢！” 7]The issues that people argue over most in marriage,such as how to spend money,often aren't the real ones.The key issue is:who is going to be in control?When I was younger,my need to control arose out of fear,a lack of trust,insecurity.The day I finally realized I didn't need to control my wife-that,indeed,I ought not control her, that I couldn't control her,and that if I tried to,I would destroy our marriage-was the day our marriage began. [7]人们在婚姻中争吵的那些事情诸如怎样花钱之类，往往并不是争执的真正所 在。争执的关键是谁来控制。当我年青的时候，我想去控制是因为出于恐惧， 是缺乏信任和安全感。当我终于认识到我不必控制我的妻子的时候，我们的婚 姻才算真正开始。确实，我不应该控制我的妻子，我也不能去控制她，如果我 要这样去做，我就会毁坏我们的婚姻。 [8]Giving up control is often confused with weakness.But the winner in a domestic argument is never really the winner.When you win a battle and your partner submits,you have,paradoxically,lost. 25
25 [6]我们就这样解决了争执。最后我们终于找到了一个我们共同喜欢的图案。壁 纸样品手册成了我们解决婚姻中遇到的无数争执的一个象征。当我们在要什么 家具或去什么地方休假的意见不一时，我的妻子就说：“在壁纸样品手册里有的 是样品呢！” 7]The issues that people argue over most in marriage, such as how to spend money, often aren’t the real ones. The key issue is: who is going to be in control? When I was younger, my need to control arose out of fear, a lack of trust, insecurity. The day I finally realized I didn’t need to control my wife—that, indeed, I ought not control her, that I couldn’t control her, and that if I tried to, I would destroy our marriage—was the day our marriage began. [7]人们在婚姻中争吵的那些事情诸如怎样花钱之类，往往并不是争执的真正所 在。争执的关键是谁来控制。当我年青的时候，我想去控制是因为出于恐惧， 是缺乏信任和安全感。当我终于认识到我不必控制我的妻子的时候，我们的婚 姻才算真正开始。确实，我不应该控制我的妻子，我也不能去控制她，如果我 要这样去做，我就会毁坏我们的婚姻。 [8]Giving up control is often confused with weakness. But the winner in a domestic argument is never really the winner. When you win a battle and your partner submits, you have, paradoxically, lost