wantan explanationofwhyyouwantsomething somuch.Theyhavea righttoask,andyou can explainthistothem.Butyou should also ask whytheyareso intentontheirownpriorities.State your wishes directly and clearly in the negotiations.Youmust clearly articulate what you want,otherwiseyourstatementwill notbeofusetotheotherparty,orthemediatorwillnotbeabletohelpyouget what you want.Ifyou do not say what you want, you cannotget it.No one will give you anythingunlessyouexpressadesiretohaveit.Sometimesyoumustgivereasonsforwhyyouwant it.Clarityisimportantinthepresentationofyourposition.Avoidbeingdistractedbyridiculousoffers.Knowwhatyouwantandgoforit.Ifyouexplainitclearly,theothersidewillrespectyourclarity.Iftheissuesarecomplexputthemdown inwriting,sothattrade-offscanstartearlyoninthenegotiations.Notehereadifferencebetweenstrategies,whereitis importanttobeclearonone'soverall goals,andtactics,where itisoftenwisenottobeclearaboutwhatonewants.Do notgiveupanythingfornothing.Atthebeginningofa negotiation,donotgiveawaythings.Ifyoudo so,you willcreatethe wrong impression thatyouare a pushover.Youmusthave chipsforbargaining.These areveryimportant as trade-offs at a later stage when youare about toclose a deal. Be thedevif'sadvocatefromtimetotime:Putyourselfintheshoesoftheotherside.Alwaysrequestformore,andbepreparedtogivesomethingforit.When itcomestotheclose,youmayhavetosqueezemorefromtheotherside.Butyoumustbepreparedtoconcedethingsthatyouarepreparedtolivewithout.Donotdrivetheotherpartytothewall.Theymayconcludethatyoudonot wantanagreementafterall.Berealisticand rational.Bereasonable in yourdemands; otherwise,youwill not betaken seriously.Ifyouaskforless,thenyoumayendupevengettinglessthanless.Thepartieshavetoberealisticifthedispute is to be resolved.In most cases,parties gotonegotiations with idealisticpositions and wishes.You should not make unrealistic and outrageous demands. Sometimes, parties start with highlyexaggerateddemands.Theyadoptthisposition sothat theycan achieveatrade-off ata later stageofthe negotiations. When you are confronted with such a strategy, just laugh it off. Do not get angry aboutit.Haveabackupposition.It isimportanttohaveabackupposition.This isnotreallyafallbackposition,but morealongthe linesofa"PlanB".Donotstartanegotiationwithyourbackagainstthewall.Leaveroomformaneuver.Proposealternativestounlockthetalksiftheyreachastalemate.Thinkveryfast.Reading6TheNegotiationProcessPuttheOtherSideat Ease.Once thenegotiationprocess has started,thefirstthingyoushoulddoaferyouintroduceyourselftotheotherpartyismaketheothersidefeelatease.Ifthemeetingtakesplaceinyouroffice,makesuretheyarecomfortablewiththetemperatureoftheroom,andofferthemcoffeeorwater and something to eat. Give them a tour of thefacilities so theyknow where the restrooms,phones,andcomputeraccess(ifavailable)areincasetheyneedtousethem.Onceeveryoneiscomfortable,initiatesmalltalkbasedontheresearchyoudidearlier.Talkaboutanyinterestsyoumayhaveincommon,askabouttheirchildren,ordiscusshobbiesoranyotherintereststheymayhave
want an explanation of why you want something so much. They have a right to ask, and you can explain this to them. But you should also ask why they are so intent on their own priorities. State your wishes directly and clearly in the negotiations. You must clearly articulate what you want, otherwise your statement will not be of use to the other party, or the mediator will not be able to help you get what you want. If you do not say what you want, you cannot get it. No one will give you anything unless you express a desire to have it. Sometimes you must give reasons for why you want it. Clarity is important in the presentation of your position. Avoid being distracted by ridiculous offers. Know what you want and go for it. If you explain it clearly, the other side will respect your clarity. If the issues are complex, put them down in writing, so that trade-offs can start early on in the negotiations. Note here a difference between strategies, where it is important to be clear on one’s overall goals, and tactics, where it is often wise not to be clear about what one wants. Do not give up anything for nothing.At the beginning of a negotiation, do not give away things. If you do so, you will create the wrong impression that you are a pushover. You must have chips for bargaining. These are very important as trade-offs at a later stage when you are about to close a deal. Be the devil’s advocate from time to time: Put yourself in the shoes of the other side. Always request for more, and be prepared to give something for it. When it comes to the close, you may have to squeeze more from the other side. But you must be prepared to concede things that you are prepared to live without. Do not drive the other party to the wall. They may conclude that you do not want an agreement after all. Be realistic and rational. Be reasonable in your demands; otherwise, you will not be taken seriously. If you ask for less, then you may end up even getting less than less. The parties have to be realistic if the dispute is to be resolved. In most cases, parties go to negotiations with idealistic positions and wishes. You should not make unrealistic and outrageous demands. Sometimes, parties start with highly exaggerated demands. They adopt this position so that they can achieve a trade-off at a later stage of the negotiations. When you are confronted with such a strategy, just laugh it off. Do not get angry about it. Have a backup position. It is important to have a backup position. This is not really a fallback position, but more along the lines of a “Plan B”. Do not start a negotiation with your back against the wall. Leave room for maneuver. Propose alternatives to unlock the talks if they reach a stalemate. Think very fast. Reading 6 The Negotiation Process Put the Other Side at Ease. Once the negotiation process has started, the first thing you should do after you introduce yourself to the other party is make the other side feel at ease. If the meeting takes place in your office, make sure they are comfortable with the temperature of the room, and offer them coffee or water and something to eat. Give them a tour of the facilities so they know where the restrooms, phones, and computer access (if available) are in case they need to use them. Once everyone is comfortable, initiate small talk based on the research you did earlier. Talk about any interests you may have in common, ask about their children, or discuss hobbies or any other interests they may have
Bea Good Listener.Active listening skills are crucialifyou want to bea skillednegotiator.Being a goodlistener is challenging because you may feel stressed during the negotiation. Additionally, listeningrequiresconcentrationandpatience.Althoughyoumaywantto interruptwithyourcomments,trytobepatient and concentrate on what is being said. Many people find it dificult to concentrate because theyare too busy preparing what they will say next in reaction to what was said.Ifyoudoyourresearch,plan,andrehearseeverythingyouintendtosaypriortothenegotiation,youwillbeableto listenand concentratemuchmoreeffectivelyduringthenegotiation.Ifyouprovetotheothersidethatyouarepayingattentiontowhattheyaresaying,theywillbemore likelyto listentowhat yousay.Toavoid having the otherpartyfeeling likeeverythingthey are saying is“going in one earand outthe other,"try to appear genuinely interested and use physical gestures to prove that you are payingattention such as tilting your head and nodding.Saying"Go on"or"I see"are othereffectiveways to showtheother side thatyou are interested in whattheyaresaying.Anotherwaytolettheotherpartyknowyouarepaying attentionisby reiteratingwhathas just been said ina succinctmanner.Althoughactivelylisteningto someonedoesnotautomaticallymeanyouagreewithhispointofview,makesureyouacknowledgethatyouunderstandwhereheiscomingfromandhowthepersonfeels.Acknowledgingtheotherperson'semotionshelpshimfeelmorecomfortablesothatyoucanbothmoveontotheproblemsolvingphase.Listening to what someone is saying is a good start, but also pay attention to body language. Is shelookingyouintheeyewhensheanswersyourquestionsoris shefidgetingand lookingattheground?Does she seemtrustworthy?Does she say sheagrees with youand then roll her eyes?Body languagethat suggests doubts include touching the nose, rubbing the ears, running fingers through the hair, orturning away.If somethingthat was said remains unclearor ambiguousto you, be sure to ask for clarification.And,onceyouthinkyouhaveunderstoodsomething,repeatitback ina succinctmannertomakesuretherearenomisunderstandings.AlterYourNegotiationStyleIfNecessary.Youmayfindthatyouneedtoadjustyournegotiationstyletomatchtheotherteam'spersonality.For example,ifyourstyleistobemore indirectbuttheother sidegetsrightdowntobusinessoncethemeetingbegins,perhapsyoushouldbemoredirect.Iftheotherteamseemstobemoreanalytical,focusonyourpresentationandbesuretoincludelots ofnumbers,charts, and graphs that validate and explain your point of view.SeparatePeoplefrom theIssue.Peoplebecometooemotionallyinvolved with the issuesof thenegotiationandtheirside'sposition.Whentheothersideattackstheirpositionorissues,theyfeelas iftheyarebeingattackedpersonally.It is importantthatyouseparatethepeopleontheothersidefromtheissuesthatyouaretryingtoresolve.Insteadofattackingtheotherpartybysaying"Yourcompanyrippedmeoff!"explainhowthe situationmadeyoufeel:Ifelt letdown."Actively listening to the other side when theyare speaking,acknowledgingtheir emotions,andmakingasincereeffortto understandtheirpointof viewarewaysto ensurethatyouhaveseparatedthepeoplefromtheissuesathand.Whenpeoplebecomeemotional duringanegotiation,it is importantthatyourecognizetheiremotionseveniftheyseemoutrageousorunreasonable.Simplephrasessuchas
Be a Good Listener. Active listening skills are crucial if you want to be a skilled negotiator. Being a good listener is challenging because you may feel stressed during the negotiation. Additionally, listening requires concentration and patience. Although you may want to interrupt with your comments, try to be patient and concentrate on what is being said. Many people find it difficult to concentrate because they are too busy preparing what they will say next in reaction to what was said. If you do your research, plan, and rehearse everything you intend to say prior to the negotiation, you will be able to listen and concentrate much more effectively during the negotiation. If you prove to the other side that you are paying attention to what they are saying, they will be more likely to listen to what you say. To avoid having the other party feeling like everything they are saying is “going in one ear and out the other,” try to appear genuinely interested and use physical gestures to prove that you are paying attention such as tilting your head and nodding. Saying “Go on” or “I see” are other effective ways to show the other side that you are interested in what they are saying. Another way to let the other party know you are paying attention is by reiterating what has just been said in a succinct manner. Although actively listening to someone does not automatically mean you agree with his point of view, make sure you acknowledge that you understand where he is coming from and how the person feels. Acknowledging the other person’s emotions helps him feel more comfortable so that you can both move on to the problemsolving phase. Listening to what someone is saying is a good start, but also pay attention to body language. Is she looking you in the eye when she answers your questions or is she fidgeting and looking at the ground? Does she seem trustworthy? Does she say she agrees with you and then roll her eyes? Body language that suggests doubts include touching the nose, rubbing the ears, running fingers through the hair, or turning away. If something that was said remains unclear or ambiguous to you, be sure to ask for clarification. And, once you think you have understood something, repeat it back in a succinct manner to make sure there are no misunderstandings. Alter Your Negotiation Style If Necessary. You may find that you need to adjust your negotiation style to match the other team’s personality. For example, if your style is to be more indirect but the other side gets right down to business once the meeting begins, perhaps you should be more direct. If the other team seems to be more analytical, focus on your presentation and be sure to include lots o f numbers, charts, and graphs that validate and explain your point of view. Separate People from the Issue. People become too emotionally involved with the issues of the negotiation and their side’s position. When the other side attacks their position or issues, they feel as if they are being attacked personally. It is important that you separate the people on the other side from the issues that you are trying to resolve. Instead of attacking the other party by saying “Your company ripped me off!” explain how the situation made you feel: “I felt let down.” Actively listening to the other side when they are speaking, acknowledging their emotions, and making a sincere effort to understand their point of view are ways to ensure that you have separated the pe ople from the issues at hand. When people become emotional during a negotiation, it is important that you recognize their emotions even if they seem outrageous or unreasonable. Simple phrases such as “I
understandyourfrustration"wouldsuffice.Failuretonoticetheiremotionsmayleadthemtofeelalienatedorto anevenstrongerreactionBe Confidentand Firm but Not Demanding.One wayto exude confidence during a negotiation is topractice,practice,practice.Forexample,youcanworkonyourlisteningskillsnexttimeyougetyourcarfixed at the car shop or negotiate with your spouse about where you want to go on your next vacation.Younegotiateeverydaywith yourfamily,friends,and strangers,so youshould findample opportunitiesto practice.Anotherwayto showyouraudiencethatyouareincontrol isbyexhibitingpositivebodylanguage.Leesuggeststhatyou look youraudiencemembers inthe eye,stand orsit straight,smile,moderateandprojectyourtoneandpitch,andspeakslowly.AvoidphrasessuchasIshouldhavedonemoreresearchin this area but ..." or"I'm not as experienced as the rest of you but ..."that may give the impressionthat you are unsure of what you are saying.BePatient.It is importanttoremain calm and patientat all times,particularlywhenthe other side isscreaming,personallyattackingyouoryourcompany,orbehavinginanemotionalmanner.Althoughitmay bedifficulttomaintainyour composureundertense circumstances,tryto calmthe otherpersondownbyacknowledginghisemotionalstateandtryingtounderstandhispointofview,followedbyabrief15-minutebreak.Thepersonprobablyneedsrecognition,reassurance,security,oresteem,orperhapshe is just havinga bad day.Maybehis spouse lostherjob today.The idea is to"kill them with kindness"andavoidbringingupthisepisodeinthefuturetosavefaceandembarrassment.Ask Questions.Even though youmayhave prepared asmuchas you couldfor thenegotiation,there isno wayyou could havefound answers to everything.Ask the other side questions to make sure youunderstandwhattheir interests areandtoclarify anythingtheymayhave mentioned earlierthat youfindto beunclear.Whenyouaskquestionstofindoutwhattheotherpartyisthinking,besuretoaskopen-endedquestions,questions that must be answered with more than just a simple yes or no. You will get more informationfromtheothersidebyasking"Whatdidyou like anddislikeaboutyourlast job?"insteadof"Didyou likeyour last job?"Or,"Howwould you describe your managementstyle?"in place of"Do you lead byconsensus?"Open-ended questions tend to begin with"who...""what...,""when...""why"where....""how...""describeatimewhen...""please explain...""please tell me..."and soon.Whenthepersonhasfinishedansweringyourquestion,refrainfromimmediatelyaskinganotherquestionor makingastatement.Afewseconds of awkwardsilenceisusually enoughtomakepeopleuncomfortablewhichinfluencesthemtocontinuespeakingandyoumaybeabletoextractsomemoreinformationfromthem.Don'tBeAfraidtoWalkAway.Sometimeseventhoughyoudoyourhomework,understandtheotherside's point of view and interests,and come up with a list of creative solutions keeping the interests ofbothparties inmind,youfindyourself unabletoreacha satisfactoryagreementwiththeotherparty.Although it is sometimes tempting to just sign a dealand get it doneas quickly as possible so that youcanmoveontootherpressingtasks,bepatient.Iftheofferyouarethinkingaboutsigningisworsethan
understand your frustration” would suffice. Failure to notice their emotions may lead them to feel alienated or to an even stronger reaction. Be Confident and Firm but Not Demanding. One way to exude confidence during a negotiation is to practice, practice, practice. For example, you can work on your listening skills next time you get your car fixed at the car shop or negotiate with your spouse about where you want to go on your next vacation. You negotiate every day with your family, friends, and strangers, so you should find ample opportunities to practice. Another way to show your audience that you are in control is by exhibiting positive body language. Lee suggests that you look your audience members in the eye, stand or sit straight, smile, moderate and project your tone and pitch, and speak slowly. Avoid phrases such as “I should have done more research in this area but . . .” or “I’m not as experienced as the rest of you but . . .” that may give the impression that you are unsure of what you are saying. Be Patient. It is important to remain calm and patient at all times, particularly when the other side is screaming, personally attacking you or your company, or behaving in an emotional manner. Although it may be difficult to maintain your composure under tense circumstances, try to calm the other pers on down by acknowledging his emotional state and trying to understand his point of view, followed by a brief 15-minute break. The person probably needs recognition, reassurance, security, or esteem, or perhaps he is just having a bad day. Maybe his spouse lost her job today. The idea is to “kill them with kindness” and avoid bringing up this episode in the future to save face and embarrassment. Ask Questions. Even though you may have prepared as much as you could for the negotiation, there is no way you could have found answers to everything. Ask the other side questions to make sure you understand what their interests are and to clarify anything they may have mentioned earlier that you find to be unclear. When you ask questions to find out what the other party is thinking, be sure to ask open-ended questions, questions that must be answered with more than just a simple yes or no. You will get more information from the other side by asking “What did you like and dislike about your last job?” instead of “Did you like your last job?” Or, “How would you describe your management style?” in place of “Do you lead by consensus?” Open-ended questions tend to begin with “who . . . ,” “what . . . ,” “when . . . ,” “why . . . ,” “where . . . ,” “how . . . ,” “describe a time when . . . ,” “please explain . . . ,” “please tell me . . . ,” and so on. When the person has finished answering your question, refrain from immediately asking another question or making a statement. A few seconds of awkward silence is usually enough to make people uncomfortable, which influences them to continue speaking and you may be able to extract some more information from them. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away. Sometimes even though you do your homework, understand the other side’s point of view and interests, and come up with a list of creative solutions keeping the interests of both parties in mind, you find yourself unable to reach a satisfactory agreement with the other party. Although it is sometimes tempting to just sign a deal and get it done as quickly as possible so that you can move on to other pressing tasks, be patient. If the offer you are thinking about signing is worse than
your BATNA,donotbe afraid to walk away.Sometimesafteryou declare to theother partythat you arewalkingawaytheothersidewill reconsidertheagreement-butnotalways.Rememberthatwhatyouareoffering to the other side is valuable.Whyelse wouldtheotherparty spend timetrying tonegotiatewithyou if youwerenotvaluabletothem?Youshould beabletofind anotherpartytostrikeamorereasonabledealwith,onethatisbetterthanyourBATNA.Reading7Seven MajorPitfalls toAvoid When NegotiatingListedbeloware seven common mistakesthat can preventeffectivenegotiation fromhappening.Thosewhowishtosharpentheirnegotiationskillsshouldreviewthislistandpreparetoencounterthesepotentialpitfalls without allowing them to derail a negotiation thatwould otherwise be effective and rewarding.Themosteffectivenegotiators:Don't blame theotherpartyforcreating the problem.Even if youhonestly believe that the other partyisresponsibleforcreatingtheproblem,finger-pointingislikelytomaketheotherpartyuncomfortableanddefensive.Uitimately,blamingcancausethe otherpartytoattackyou inresponseanddestroyapotentiallyfruitful negotiation.Blaming ina negotiation should be considered counterproductiveto yourgoalsasaneffectivenegotiator.On the other hand, positive language can help to reduce defensiveness and develop the workingrelationshipyou wantto build.Asan example,ratherthanusing words like"this is yourfault"or"youscrewedupwhen..."tryasking"howcouldthathavebeendonedifferently?,"whichgivestheotherpartyan opportunityto considerbetterideaswithoutfeelingscoldedforalessdesirabledecisionthat was made.Rather than focusing on blame or guilt, move on to generating solution ideas.Don't use threats. Threats are less effective at motivating agreement and building rapport than arebeneficial offers.Usingthreatsasa possiblemeansofgettingtheotherpartytoagreetoasolutionwillalmostdefinitelyresult inmistrustand tension.It is importanttoremember,however,thatif the otherpartyisnot negotiating withyour party in goodfaith,thismightindicatethat youwill not be ableto builda lastingworkingrelationshipdespiteyourbestefforts.Inthiscase,wheretheotherpartyisnotnegotiatingfairlyandthereis almostno chance ofworkingjointly inthefuture,thestrategicandcareful useof threatsasleveragemaybecomenecessarytocontinuemovingyournegotiatingagendaforward.Don'tassumethatacommentmadebytheotherpartyisintendedtobenegativeevenifitseemslikeitis.Beingclearaboutwhatisnotonlysaid,butalsomeantbyacommentiscrucialtocommunicatingwell duringthenegotiations.Misunderstandingsmaybemore likelyduringnegotiationssincesomeoralloftheindividualsparticipatingmayhavestrongopinionsandemotionsabouttheissuesbeingdiscussedAsaneffectivenegotiator,youshouldgivetheother partyanopportunityto either clarifyor retractaseeminglynegativestatementbeforeyouresponddirectlyInsteadofassumingthata statementmadebytheotherpartywas intendedtobenegativeoroffensive
your BATNA, do not be afraid to walk away. Sometimes after you declare to the other party that you are walking away, the other side will reconsider the agreement—but not always. Remember that what you are offering to the other side is valuable. Why else would the other party spend time trying to negotiate with you if you were not valuable to them? You should be able to find another party to strike a more reasonable deal with, one that is better than your BATNA. Reading 7 Seven Major Pitfalls to Avoid When Negotiating Listed below are seven common mistakes that can prevent effective negotiation from happening. Those who wish to sharpen their negotiation skills should review this list and prepare to encounter these potential pitfalls without allowing them to derail a negotiation that would otherwise be effective and rewarding. The most effective negotiators: Don’t blame the other party for creating the problem. Even if you honestly believe that the other party is responsible for creating the problem, finger-pointing is likely to make the other party uncomfortable and defensive. Ultimately, blaming can cause the other party to attack you in response and destroy a potentially fruitful negotiation. Blaming in a negotiation should be considered counterproductive to your goals as an effective negotiator. On the other hand, positive language can help to reduce defensiveness and develop the working relationship you want to build. As an example, rather than using words like “this is your fault” or “you screwed up when.” try asking “how could that have been done differently?,” which gives the other party an opportunity to consider better ideas without feeling scolded for a less desirable decision that was made. Rather than focusing on blame or guilt, move on to generating solution ideas. Don’t use threats. Threats are less effective at motivating agreement and building rapport than are beneficial offers. Using threats as a possible means of getting the other party to agree to a solution will almost definitely result in mistrust and tension. It is important to remember, however, that if the other party is not negotiating with your party in good faith, this might indicate that you will not be able to build a lasting working relationship despite your best efforts. In this case, where the other party is not negotiating fairly and there is almost no chance of working jointly in the future, the strategic and careful use of t hreats as leverage may become necessary to continue moving your negotiating agenda forward. Don’t assume that a comment made by the other party is intended to be negative even if it seems like it is.Being clear about what is not only said, but also meant by a comment is crucial to communicating well during the negotiations. Misunderstandings may be more likely during negotiations since some or all of the individuals participating may have strong opinions and emotions about the issues being discussed. As an effective negotiator, you should give the other party an opportunity to either clarify or retract a seemingly negative statement before you respond directly. Instead of assuming that a statement made by the other party was intended to be negative or of fensive
ask forclarification.For example,simply asking"What did you mean by that?"gives the other partyachancetoexplaintheseeminglynegative commenttopreventamisunderstanding.Anothertacticistorepeatthecommentmadebytheotherpartyfollowedwithyourunderstandingofitandaskforclarification(e.g.,"'m not surel understood you. When you said "the price is found too much on the high side," didyoumeanthat itisfaroutofthelinewiththemarket?).Askingforclarificationalsogivestheotherpartyanopportunitytoretractandchangeanegativecommentthatwasmadeinhaste,withouttheneedtoargueandriskderailingthenegotiation.Don't react to provocations.Even if the other party makes an intentionally negative or offensivecomment,don'tloseyourtemper.Bykeepingalevelheadandstayingcool,youmaybeabletosalvagethe negotiation. If you need to, step away from the negotiation to calm down. Be sure to carefully planyour response and choose words that don't further escalate the negativity.Onetiptohelpdefusenegativefeelingsistoaddressthemassoonaspossiblebyusing"!"statementstoexplainhowyouunderstoodaparticularcommentthatwasmadeandhowthatcommentmadeyoufeel(e.g.,"IfeltbothsaddenedandconcernedwhenIheardthecommentthatwas justmadeabouttheselectionof particularvesselsandIthink it's socentralto makepunctual deliverythatI'd likefor ustodiscuss it a bitmorebefore wemove on").It mightalso helpto restate thegroup'sgoal to collaboratetoreachasolutionthatbenefitseveryoneatthenegotiationtable.Youmaywanttoaskforarecommitmentfrom everyone to this goal and brainstorm suggestions from the group that might prevent similardisruptions during the negotiations.Don't dismiss the feelings,ideas,or opinions ofothers.The rule in the negotiation process is thateveryone counts and everyone's contributions will be respected. During the sometimes frustratingnegotiationprocess,peoplemayspeakorrespondemotionallyoutoffearoranger.Toproperlydealwiththese emotionsthatcanruinapotentiallyeffectivenegotiation, it isimportantto acknowledgethemandtotrytounderstandtheirsource.Dismissinganother'sfeelingsoropinionsasunreasonablecanprovokeanevenmoreintensenegativeemotionalresponse.Also,peoplewhofeel thattheir ideas and commentswill betaken seriouslyaremore likelytoparticipate.Trytocreateandmaintainanatmospherewhereeveryonefeelsmoreinclinedtoactivelycontributeandworktowardfindingasolutionthatsatisfiesbothparties.Don'tdisagree withgroupmembers in front of the otherparty.To betaken seriously by the otherparty, it is important that your group show its solidarity and professionalism during the negotiation.Disagreementsamongyourowngroupmembers indicatealackofconsensusandmayleadtheotherpartytothink thatyourgroup isdisorganized or thatit hasn'tthoughtthroughtheissuescarefullyenoughbefore requesting the meeting. To avoid disagreeing with other members of your group in front of theotherparty:·fullydiscussthe issuesand thegroup's positionwithyourmembersbeforerequestingthemeetingwiththeotherparty,shareall informationrelevanttotheissueandthegroup'spositionwithallmembersofyourgroup(e.g,throughnewsletters,email,regulargroupmeetings,etc.),encouragememberstoaskquestionsrelatedtotheissueandthegroup'sposition,·clearly and openly state the"official"version of the group's position regarding the issue and ask for
ask for clarification. For example, simply asking “What did you mean by that?” gives the other party a chance to explain the seemingly negative comment to prevent a misunderstanding. Another tactic is to repeat the comment made by the other party followed with your understanding of it and ask for clarification (e.g., “I’m not sure I understood you. When you said "the price is found too much on the high side,” did you mean that it is far out of the line with the market?). Asking for clarification also gives the other party an opportunity to retract and change a negative comment that was made in haste, without the need to argue and risk derailing the negotiation. Don’t react to provocations. Even if the other party makes an intentionally negative or offensive comment, don’t lose your temper. By keeping a level head and staying cool, you may be able to salvage the negotiation. If you need to, step away from the negotiation to calm down. Be sure to carefully plan your response and choose words that don’t further escalate the negativity. One tip to help defuse negative feelings is to address them as soon as possible by using “I” statements to explain how you understood a particular comment that was made and how that comment made you feel (e.g., “I felt both saddened and concerned when I heard the comment that was just made about the selection of particular vessels and I think it’s so central to make punctual delivery that I’d like for us to discuss it a bit more before we move on”). It might also help to restate the group’s goal to collaborate to reach a solution that benefits everyone at the negotiation table. You may want to ask for a recommitment from everyone to this goal and brainstorm suggestions from the group that might prevent similar disruptions during the negotiations. Don’t dismiss the feelings, ideas, or opinions of others. The rule in the negotiation process is that everyone counts and everyone’s contributions will be respected. During the sometimes frustrating negotiation process, people may speak or respond emotionally out of fear or anger. To properly deal with these emotions that can ruin a potentially effective negotiation, it is important to acknowledge them and to try to understand their source. Dismissing another’s feelings or opinions as unreasonable can provoke an even more intense negative emotional response. Also, people who feel that their ideas and comments will be taken seriously are more likely to participate. Try to create and maintain an atmosphere where everyone feels more inclined to actively contribute and work toward finding a solution that satisfies both parties. Don’t disagree with group members in front of the other party. To be taken seriously by the other party, it is important that your group show its solidarity and professionalism during the negotiation. Disagreements among your own group members indicate a lack of consensus and may lead the other party to think that your group is disorganized or that it hasn’t thought through the issues carefully enough before requesting the meeting. To avoid disagreeing with other members of your group in front of the other party: • fully discuss the issues and the group’s position with your members before requesting the meeting with the other party, • share all information relevant to the issue and the group’s position with all members of your group (e.g., through newsletters, email, regular group meetings, etc.), • encourage members to ask questions related to the issue and the group’s position, • clearly and openly state the “official” version of the group’s position regarding the issue and ask for