《性别、亲密关系与社会》课程教学资源（单身Singlehood）Living in the Gray：Women’s Experiences of Missing the Marital Transition

ELIZABETH A.SHARP Texas Tech University LAWRENCE GANONG University of Missouri-Columbia* Living in the Gray:Women's Experiences of Missing the Marital Transition Given the increasing trend of women delaying in the United States,and the timing of marriage (or forgoing)marriage and the minimal schol- has pronounced importance for women because arship on women's refections of their life of limited childbearing years and the value of course trajectories,the purpose of the study marriage for their identities (Baber Allen, was to examine the lived experience of White, 1992). college-educated women aged 28-34 years The purpose of this study was to explore what who have not married.Using descriptive phe- it is like to be a woman in her late 20s or early 30s nomenology methodology,32 interviews were who has never married.We employed descriptive conducted with 10 never-married women.Results phenomenology methodology because the goal suggested that their experiences were marked by of this qualitative approach is to describe and uncertainty.The women were intensely reflecting clarify the essential structure of an experience on their life pathways,evaluating themselves, through individuals'in-depth reflections(Porter, and enacting strategies to manage the pervasive 1998).We applied principles of the life course uncertainty they felt.Implications about life perspective to frame the current investigation. course expectations and decisions,coping strate- The life course framework attends to the develop- gies,and experiences of "missed'transitions ment of life pathways,focusing on transitions and related consequences are discussed. among individuals'age-differentiated social and family roles in the context of changing histor- ical circumstances (Elder,1998).Two tenets Across time and cultures,meanings have been assigned to chronological age.The social especially germane to this issue are historical construction of age influences the timing of life time and timing in lives. transitions,having far-reaching consequences for individuals'expectations and behaviors throughout their lives (Elder,1998).Marriage Historical Time and Individual Experiences is a particularly salient age-graded life transition The principle of historical time suggests that life trajectories are influenced by the historical period Human Development Family Studies,Texas Tech Uni- during which they occur (Elder,1998).Many versity.Box 41162,Lubbock,TX 79409(elizabeth.sharp@ social,economic,and cultural conditions poten- ttu.edu). tially influence the cohort of never-married *Sinclair School of Nursing and Department of Human women who are now in their late 20s and early Development and Family Studies.University of Missouri- 30s (Smock,2004).Predominant factors have Columbia,314 Gentry Hall,Columbia,MO 65211. been cited by family scholars as either a cause Key Words:life course,life transitions,never married, or a consequence of a retreat from marriage: phenomenology. women's increasing economic independence, Journal of Marriage and Family 69(August 2007):831-844 831

ELIZABETH A. SHARP Texas Tech University LAWRENCE GANONG University of Missouri—Columbia* Living in the Gray: Women’s Experiences of Missing the Marital Transition Given the increasing trend of women delaying (or forgoing) marriage and the minimal schol￾arship on women’s reflections of their life course trajectories, the purpose of the study was to examine the lived experience of White, college-educated women aged 28 – 34 years who have not married. Using descriptive phe￾nomenology methodology, 32 interviews were conducted with 10 never-married women. Results suggested that their experiences were marked by uncertainty. The women were intensely reflecting on their life pathways, evaluating themselves, and enacting strategies to manage the pervasive uncertainty they felt. Implications about life course expectations and decisions, coping strate￾gies, and experiences of ‘‘missed’’ transitions and related consequences are discussed. Across time and cultures, meanings have been assigned to chronological age. The social construction of age influences the timing of life transitions, having far-reaching consequences for individuals’ expectations and behaviors throughout their lives (Elder, 1998). Marriage is a particularly salient age-graded life transition in the United States, and the timing of marriage has pronounced importance for women because of limited childbearing years and the value of marriage for their identities (Baber & Allen, 1992). The purpose of this study was to explore what it is like to be a woman in her late 20s or early 30s who has never married. We employed descriptive phenomenology methodology because the goal of this qualitative approach is to describe and clarify the essential structure of an experience through individuals’ in-depth reflections (Porter, 1998). We applied principles of the life course perspective to frame the current investigation. The life course framework attends to the develop￾ment of life pathways, focusing on transitions among individuals’ age-differentiated social and family roles in the context of changing histor￾ical circumstances (Elder, 1998). Two tenets especially germane to this issue are historical time and timing in lives. Historical Time and Individual Experiences The principle of historical time suggests that life trajectories are influenced by the historical period during which they occur (Elder, 1998). Many social, economic, and cultural conditions poten￾tially influence the cohort of never-married women who are now in their late 20s and early 30s (Smock, 2004). Predominant factors have been cited by family scholars as either a cause or a consequence of a retreat from marriage: women’s increasing economic independence, Human Development & Family Studies, Texas Tech Uni￾versity, Box 41162, Lubbock, TX 79409 (elizabeth.sharp@ ttu.edu). *Sinclair School of Nursing and Department of Human Development and Family Studies, University of Missouri— Columbia, 314 Gentry Hall, Columbia, MO 65211. Key Words: life course, life transitions, never married, phenomenology. Journal of Marriage and Family 69 (August 2007): 831–844 831

832 Journal of Marriage and Family the rise in divorce and cohabitation,individual- (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical Abstract of the ism,and an increasing disconnection between United States,2005). childbearing and marriage (Smock).Taken One reason for this valued status is because together,these factors have been described as marriage is closely tied to women's identities. contributing to the deinstitutionalization of mar- Feminists contend that the construction of gender riage in Western cultures(Cherlin,2004). is one of the strongest influences throughout Women who are the focus of this investigation women's life courses (e.g.,Baber Allen, were born during the late 1960s and the early-to 1992),and a powerful way gender is manifested late 1970s,decades in which the median age at is through the institution of marriage.Gender first marriage for women increased gradually.In socialization processes encourage women to 1980,the median age at marriage was 22 years; view relationships as primary,so accordingly, in 1999,it was 25.1 years;and in 2004,the marriage has been and remains strongly con- median age for women was 25.4 years,the oldest nected to women's sense of self(Coontz,2004). in U.S.history (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical Marriage has become an important source for Abstract of the United States,2005).Since the emotional and personal fulfillment (Cherlin, 1970s,women's family formation patterns have 2004;Smock,2004).If anything,the value of changed considerably.Compared to earlier co- marriage to individuals has appeared to have horts,more women married later or did not marry increased during the same historical time period at all,bore children outside of marriage,and co- that myriad social,economic,and cultural condi- habited.Largely as a result of delayed marital tions seem to serve as disincentives to marriage. entry,increasing proportions of women are sin- Most never-married women want to marry gle,with 41%of women aged 25-29 years (Bock.2000:Frazier.Arikian.Benson.Losoff. and 24%of women aged 30-34 years being Maurer,1996;Fuller,2001).In short,expect- never married (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical ations regarding the benefits of marriage for in- Abstract of the United States). dividuals have been as great or greater during Many scholars assert that women are opt- the lives of the young women who were the ing either to marry later or to forgo marriage focus of this study as they were in the lives of because of increased economic independence previous cohorts born in the 20th century. (e.g.,Coontz,2004;Gaughan,2002).Given that more women are employed for wages than in the past,it is thought that they have less economic Timing in Lives incentive to marry.Indeed,the women most The social-historical context influences the selec- likely to delay marriage are highly educated,pro- tion and pursuit of goals,such as getting married fessional women(Gaughan).There is some evi- and the timing of when such achievements dence,however,that economic independence is should happen.The life course principle of tim- not an adequate explanation for delayed marriage ing in lives considers that the "developmental (Smock,2004). impact of a succession of life transitions or Coinciding with the growing economic inde- events is contingent on when they occur in a per- pendence of women,there has been an increase son's life"(Elder,1998,p.3).The age when in the number of unmarried couples living individuals experience transitions is likely to together;cohabitation increased 10-fold between affect how they behave,think,and feel (Setters- 1990 and 2000 (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical ten,1997).For instance,transitions occurring Abstract of the United States,2005).Compared within the normative timeline are accompanied to earlier generations,cohorts of young adults gen- by informal social support and institutionalized erally have been freer to make cohabitation an support,thus promoting successful adaptations acceptable part of the courtship process for mar- to the transitions.Moreover,normative age- riage or an alternative to marriage (Seltzer,2004). related expectations are thought to be powerful Despite the changes in family formation pat- determinants of how individuals perceive and temns in recent decades,ideologies promoting evaluate themselves and others(Elder).Alterna- marriage and motherhood as ideal family config- tively,off-time transitions are linked to in- urations for women remain pervasive and power- creased stress and greater difficulty than on-time ful (Coontz,2004).Being married is a goal for transitions (Settersten Hagestad,1996a). most young women (Thornton Young- Researchers have generally focused on how in- DeMarco,2001),and most Americans marry dividuals think about general cultural timetables

the rise in divorce and cohabitation, individual￾ism, and an increasing disconnection between childbearing and marriage (Smock). Taken together, these factors have been described as contributing to the deinstitutionalization of mar￾riage in Western cultures (Cherlin, 2004). Women who are the focus of this investigation were born during the late 1960s and the early- to late 1970s, decades in which the median age at first marriage for women increased gradually. In 1980, the median age at marriage was 22 years; in 1999, it was 25.1 years; and in 2004, the median age for women was 25.4 years, the oldest in U.S. history (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2005). Since the 1970s, women’s family formation patterns have changed considerably. Compared to earlier co￾horts, more women married later or did not marry at all, bore children outside of marriage, and co￾habited. Largely as a result of delayed marital entry, increasing proportions of women are sin￾gle, with 41% of women aged 25 – 29 years and 24% of women aged 30 – 34 years being never married (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States). Many scholars assert that women are opt￾ing either to marry later or to forgo marriage because of increased economic independence (e.g., Coontz, 2004; Gaughan, 2002). Given that more women are employed for wages than in the past, it is thought that they have less economic incentive to marry. Indeed, the women most likely to delay marriage are highly educated, pro￾fessional women (Gaughan). There is some evi￾dence, however, that economic independence is not an adequate explanation for delayed marriage (Smock, 2004). Coinciding with the growing economic inde￾pendence of women, there has been an increase in the number of unmarried couples living together; cohabitation increased 10-fold between 1990 and 2000 (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2005). Compared to earlier generations, cohorts of young adults gen￾erally have been freer to make cohabitation an acceptable part of the courtship process for mar￾riage or an alternative to marriage (Seltzer, 2004). Despite the changes in family formation pat￾terns in recent decades, ideologies promoting marriage and motherhood as ideal family config￾urations for women remain pervasive and power￾ful (Coontz, 2004). Being married is a goal for most young women (Thornton & Young￾DeMarco, 2001), and most Americans marry (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2005). One reason for this valued status is because marriage is closely tied to women’s identities. Feminists contend that the construction of gender is one of the strongest influences throughout women’s life courses (e.g., Baber & Allen, 1992), and a powerful way gender is manifested is through the institution of marriage. Gender socialization processes encourage women to view relationships as primary, so accordingly, marriage has been and remains strongly con￾nected to women’s sense of self (Coontz, 2004). Marriage has become an important source for emotional and personal fulfillment (Cherlin, 2004; Smock, 2004). If anything, the value of marriage to individuals has appeared to have increased during the same historical time period that myriad social, economic, and cultural condi￾tions seem to serve as disincentives to marriage. Most never-married women want to marry (Bock, 2000; Frazier, Arikian, Benson, Losoff, & Maurer, 1996; Fuller, 2001). In short, expect￾ations regarding the benefits of marriage for in￾dividuals have been as great or greater during the lives of the young women who were the focus of this study as they were in the lives of previous cohorts born in the 20th century. Timing in Lives The social-historical context influences the selec￾tion and pursuit of goals, such as getting married and the timing of when such achievements should happen. The life course principle of tim￾ing in lives considers that the ‘‘developmental impact of a succession of life transitions or events is contingent on when they occur in a per￾son’s life’’ (Elder, 1998, p. 3). The age when individuals experience transitions is likely to affect how they behave, think, and feel (Setters￾ten, 1997). For instance, transitions occurring within the normative timeline are accompanied by informal social support and institutionalized support, thus promoting successful adaptations to the transitions. Moreover, normative age￾related expectations are thought to be powerful determinants of how individuals perceive and evaluate themselves and others (Elder). Alterna￾tively, off-time transitions are linked to in￾creased stress and greater difficulty than on-time transitions (Settersten & Hagestad, 1996a). Researchers have generally focused on how in￾dividuals think about general cultural timetables 832 Journal of Marriage and Family

Missing the Marital Transition 833 for when transitions should occur and have con- Expectations about marital timing among cluded that cultural timetables are fexible women are likely to be tied closely to expecta- (Settersten,1997)and that late entry into family tions about the timing of childbearing(Ferguson, transitions has been perceived as generally 2000).Most middle-class women expect to marry acceptable (Settersten Hagestad,1996a).In before they bear children,but as they age and time addition,people do not think that there are serious for childbearing becomes shorter,some women negative consequences for those who experi- reconsider such expectations (Lewis Moon, enced family transitions later than normatively 1997).Even women who opted to have children expected(Settersten Hagestad).It is not clear without a husband hoped to marry eventually if there are sanctions for missing a family transi- (Bock.2000). tion altogether,however. In general,researchers have found that women The few researchers who have asked never- over age 35 were not as likely to expect to marry married women about negative consequences as were women younger than 35 years(Ferguson. related to missing the transition to marriage found 2000;Tucker Mitchell-Kernan,1998).Single that they felt stigmatized (e.g.,Fuller,2001; women in Dalton's (1992)sample,who ranged Lewis Moon,1997)and uncomfortable in so- in age from 32 to 54 years,had expected to be cial settings because they did not fit into a couple- married when they were younger;most reported oriented culture(Chasteen,1994).Some negative feeling desperate about being single when they social consequences may be manifested in intra- were younger,but over time they altered personal ways;never-married women have their expectations and "learned to respect and described themselves missing the connectedness value themselves as single women"(p.74).It that they believe marriage might offer(Bock, could be that lowered expectations for marriage 2000;Lewis Moon),feeling loss and grief as women age reflect their realistic assessment (Fuller),feeling a sense of "rootlessness" of their decreased likelihood to marry.As women (Dalton,1992,p.76),and feeling intense distress age,the number of available mates decreases about being single (Cole,1999).In the case of (Cherlin,1992).Alternatively,it could be that “missing”the marital transition,.women may as women age,marriage becomes less desirable be likely to experience uncertainty about their because it compromises freedom(South,1993), futures,challenging their movement toward they become more comfortable with being single achieving life goals (Fuller). (Ferguson),and their attention turns to careers or There may be personal benefits as well as costs community (O'Brien,1991). to never marrying,however.In earlier studies, never-married women reported that they enjoyed Choosing to remain single.The issue of choos- their independence (Bock,2000;Lewis Moon, ing not to marry is complex.Researchers have re- 1997;Siegel,1995),were content(Fuller,2001), ported that the majority of women who never and had healthy self-images and fulfilling lives married considered themselves single by choice (Cole,1999).Never-married women have per- because they had not met anyone they wanted ceived personal growth to be a benefit of never to marry (e.g.,Dalton,1992;Fuller,2001;Lewis having married (Dalton,1992:Fuller). &Moon,1997).Other women“floated into” (Gordon,1994,p.54)singlehood on the basis Missing the transition.Despite the growing pro- of decisions they made when younger or because portions of women marrying later,never-married circumstances had not led to marriage.Reflecting women in their late 20s and early 30s are out of on their lives in late adulthood,never-married sync with their peers because most of their peers women in O'Brien's(1991)sample had not con- have married.It would be slightly misleading to sciously decided to avoid marriage;they "let consider these never-married women as off-time nature take its course"(p.310). because off-time refers to individuals who Young adults are living through a period of actually experienced the transition of interest time in which women have increased opportuni- but did so earlier or later than the majority of ties for and choices about how to structure their their peers (Elder,1998).Because these women life courses,and yet traditional notions encourag- are in their late 20s and early 30s,they may be ing marriage,motherhood,and sequencing mar- said to have“missed”the marital transition. riage before motherhood remain strong and Having missed the transition is ambiguous, pervasive.Such conditions are argued to be however,because they may yet marry off-time. related to the paradoxical modernity of the life

for when transitions should occur and have con￾cluded that cultural timetables are flexible (Settersten, 1997) and that late entry into family transitions has been perceived as generally acceptable (Settersten & Hagestad, 1996a). In addition, people do not think that there are serious negative consequences for those who experi￾enced family transitions later than normatively expected (Settersten & Hagestad). It is not clear if there are sanctions for missing a family transi￾tion altogether, however. The few researchers who have asked never￾married women about negative consequences related to missing the transition to marriage found that they felt stigmatized (e.g., Fuller, 2001; Lewis & Moon, 1997) and uncomfortable in so￾cial settings because they did not fit into a couple￾oriented culture (Chasteen, 1994). Some negative social consequences may be manifested in intra￾personal ways; never-married women have described themselves missing the connectedness that they believe marriage might offer (Bock, 2000; Lewis & Moon), feeling loss and grief (Fuller), feeling a sense of ‘‘rootlessness’’ (Dalton, 1992, p. 76), and feeling intense distress about being single (Cole, 1999). In the case of ‘‘missing’’ the marital transition, women may be likely to experience uncertainty about their futures, challenging their movement toward achieving life goals (Fuller). There may be personal benefits as well as costs to never marrying, however. In earlier studies, never-married women reported that they enjoyed their independence (Bock, 2000; Lewis & Moon, 1997; Siegel, 1995), were content (Fuller, 2001), and had healthy self-images and fulfilling lives (Cole, 1999). Never-married women have per￾ceived personal growth to be a benefit of never having married (Dalton, 1992; Fuller). Missing the transition. Despite the growing pro￾portions of women marrying later, never-married women in their late 20s and early 30s are out of sync with their peers because most of their peers have married. It would be slightly misleading to consider these never-married women as off-time because off-time refers to individuals who actually experienced the transition of interest but did so earlier or later than the majority of their peers (Elder, 1998). Because these women are in their late 20s and early 30s, they may be said to have ‘‘missed’’ the marital transition. Having missed the transition is ambiguous, however, because they may yet marry off-time. Expectations about marital timing among women are likely to be tied closely to expecta￾tions about the timing of childbearing (Ferguson, 2000). Most middle-class women expect to marry before they bear children, but as they age and time for childbearing becomes shorter, some women reconsider such expectations (Lewis & Moon, 1997). Even women who opted to have children without a husband hoped to marry eventually (Bock, 2000). In general, researchers have found that women over age 35 were not as likely to expect to marry as were women younger than 35 years (Ferguson, 2000; Tucker & Mitchell-Kernan, 1998). Single women in Dalton’s (1992) sample, who ranged in age from 32 to 54 years, had expected to be married when they were younger; most reported feeling desperate about being single when they were younger, but over time they altered their expectations and ‘‘learned to respect and value themselves as single women’’ (p. 74). It could be that lowered expectations for marriage as women age reflect their realistic assessment of their decreased likelihood to marry. As women age, the number of available mates decreases (Cherlin, 1992). Alternatively, it could be that as women age, marriage becomes less desirable because it compromises freedom (South, 1993), they become more comfortable with being single (Ferguson), and their attention turns to careers or community (O’Brien, 1991). Choosing to remain single. The issue of choos￾ing not to marry is complex. Researchers have re￾ported that the majority of women who never married considered themselves single by choice because they had not met anyone they wanted to marry (e.g., Dalton, 1992; Fuller, 2001; Lewis & Moon, 1997). Other women ‘‘floated into’’ (Gordon, 1994, p. 54) singlehood on the basis of decisions they made when younger or because circumstances had not led to marriage. Reflecting on their lives in late adulthood, never-married women in O’Brien’s (1991) sample had not con￾sciously decided to avoid marriage; they ‘‘let nature take its course’’ (p. 310). Young adults are living through a period of time in which women have increased opportuni￾ties for and choices about how to structure their life courses, and yet traditional notions encourag￾ing marriage, motherhood, and sequencing mar￾riage before motherhood remain strong and pervasive. Such conditions are argued to be related to the paradoxical modernity of the life Missing the Marital Transition 833

834 Journal of Marriage and Family course,whereby both standardization and vari- out the essence of the phenomenon of interest. ability are encouraged (Shanahan,2000).Re- variability of experiences exists,and in analyzing searchers have devoted considerably more and presenting findings,we draw attention to nu- attention to macrolevel trends than microlevel de- ances among the women's descriptions. scriptions of women's family formation patterns (e.g.,Elder,1998;Smock,2004).Consequently, scholars have called for studies to explore women's Sampling subjective lives,particularly studies examining Purposeful sampling was used to recruit partici- how women experience normative assumptions pants (Porter,1998).Because the goal of descrip- of marriage and motherhood in light of recent tive phenomenology is to describe the common social-historical trends (Allen,1989;Tucker, features of participants'experiences,participants 2000). must share a restricted range of demographic Prior research investigating women's subjec- characteristics (Porter).For that reason.we tive experiences about missing the marital transi- applied inclusion criteria guided by prior re- tion have focused on older women who have search.The sample was restricted to childless het- come to grips with the issue (e.g.,Allen,1989; erosexual White women aged 28-34 years,who Davies,2003;Ferguson,2000;O'Brien,1991), held a bachelor's degree and who were not cur- the timing of childbearing (e.g.,Bock,2000; rently cohabiting with a romantic partner.Child- Siegel,1995),or other aspects of women's expe- less women were selected because a growing riences (e.g.,Aronson,1999;Chasteen,1994). number of white,middle-class,never-married The focus of the present investigation is the lived women aged 28-34 years are childless (U.S. experiences of White,college-educated women Census Bureau,Statistical Abstract of the United who are just past the normative age for marriage, States,2005)and because the experiences of who so far have missed the transition to marriage. unmarried mothers were likely to differ from Such women,arguably,are in an economic posi- those of childless unmarried women.Heterosex- tion not to need marriage and are living during ual women were selected because marriage is not a critical historical juncture whereby the central- legally available to lesbians in most states and ity of marriage is being questioned and an indi- their life course expectations would be different vidualized life course is more acceptable.Given from those of heterosexual women in regard to the growing number of women delaying mar- missing the transition to marriage.The age range riage,the potential intrapersonal effects of miss- was chosen because 28 years has been considered ing the marital transition,and the limited by some developmental scholars to be the transi- scholarly attention to women's subjective experi- tion point into early adulthood (Levinson,1996) ences,understanding the lives of young,never- and is 2.5 years older than the median age of mar- married women is a topic of critical importance. riage in 2004 (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical In addition,we employ a well-defined qualitative Abstract of the United States),and 34 years was method,descriptive phenomenology,which selected as the upper age limit because the likeli- rarely has been utilized in family scholarship. hood to marry decreases considerably after that We argue that descriptive phenomenology al- age (U.S.Census Bureau,Statistical Abstract of lowed us to capture a more complex understand- the United States).We held education constant ing of the experience than previous researchers because women's experiences vary depending have illuminated. on the level of education attained (Thornton. Axinn,Teachman,1995).Finally,the sample METHOD was restricted to Whites because previous work has established that life course expectations and The method used was based on Porter's(1998) experiences vary between racial and ethnic groups application of Husserl's(1962/1913)approach (East.1998:Tucker Mitchell-Kernan.1998). to descriptive phenomenology.Consistent with Participants were recruited through e-mail list- Porter's (1998)method,interviews focused on serves,newspaper and radio advertisements,and each participant's experiences,their intentional- fliers placed on public bulletin boards in restau- ity (i.e.,What is the respondent trying to do with rants,coffee shops,schools,and hospitals in this experience?),and the context of the experi- a midsized Midwestern town.The recruitment ence (Schutz Luckmann,1973).Although message read,"Volunteers are needed to partici- a goal of descriptive phenomenology is to draw pate in dissertation research about the issues of

course, whereby both standardization and vari￾ability are encouraged (Shanahan, 2000). Re￾searchers have devoted considerably more attention to macrolevel trends than microlevel de￾scriptions of women’s family formation patterns (e.g., Elder, 1998; Smock, 2004). Consequently, scholars have called for studies to explore women’s subjective lives, particularly studies examining how women experience normative assumptions of marriage and motherhood in light of recent social-historical trends (Allen, 1989; Tucker, 2000). Prior research investigating women’s subjec￾tive experiences about missing the marital transi￾tion have focused on older women who have come to grips with the issue (e.g., Allen, 1989; Davies, 2003; Ferguson, 2000; O’Brien, 1991), the timing of childbearing (e.g., Bock, 2000; Siegel, 1995), or other aspects of women’s expe￾riences (e.g., Aronson, 1999; Chasteen, 1994). The focus of the present investigation is the lived experiences of White, college-educated women who are just past the normative age for marriage, who so far have missed the transition to marriage. Such women, arguably, are in an economic posi￾tion not to need marriage and are living during a critical historical juncture whereby the central￾ity of marriage is being questioned and an indi￾vidualized life course is more acceptable. Given the growing number of women delaying mar￾riage, the potential intrapersonal effects of miss￾ing the marital transition, and the limited scholarly attention to women’s subjective experi￾ences, understanding the lives of young, never￾married women is a topic of critical importance. In addition, we employ a well-defined qualitative method, descriptive phenomenology, which rarely has been utilized in family scholarship. We argue that descriptive phenomenology al￾lowed us to capture a more complex understand￾ing of the experience than previous researchers have illuminated. METHOD The method used was based on Porter’s (1998) application of Husserl’s (1962/1913) approach to descriptive phenomenology. Consistent with Porter’s (1998) method, interviews focused on each participant’s experiences, their intentional￾ity (i.e., What is the respondent trying to do with this experience?), and the context of the experi￾ence (Schutz & Luckmann, 1973). Although a goal of descriptive phenomenology is to draw out the essence of the phenomenon of interest, variability of experiences exists, and in analyzing and presenting findings, we draw attention to nu￾ances among the women’s descriptions. Sampling Purposeful sampling was used to recruit partici￾pants (Porter, 1998). Because the goal of descrip￾tive phenomenology is to describe the common features of participants’ experiences, participants must share a restricted range of demographic characteristics (Porter). For that reason, we applied inclusion criteria guided by prior re￾search. The sample was restricted to childless het￾erosexual White women aged 28 – 34 years, who held a bachelor’s degree and who were not cur￾rently cohabiting with a romantic partner. Child￾less women were selected because a growing number of white, middle-class, never-married women aged 28 – 34 years are childless (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States, 2005) and because the experiences of unmarried mothers were likely to differ from those of childless unmarried women. Heterosex￾ual women were selected because marriage is not legally available to lesbians in most states and their life course expectations would be different from those of heterosexual women in regard to missing the transition to marriage. The age range was chosen because 28 years has been considered by some developmental scholars to be the transi￾tion point into early adulthood (Levinson, 1996) and is 2.5 years older than the median age of mar￾riage in 2004 (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States), and 34 years was selected as the upper age limit because the likeli￾hood to marry decreases considerably after that age (U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States). We held education constant because women’s experiences vary depending on the level of education attained (Thornton, Axinn, & Teachman, 1995). Finally, the sample was restricted to Whites because previous work has established that life course expectations and experiences vary between racial and ethnic groups (East, 1998; Tucker & Mitchell-Kernan, 1998). Participants were recruited through e-mail list￾serves, newspaper and radio advertisements, and fliers placed on public bulletin boards in restau￾rants, coffee shops, schools, and hospitals in a midsized Midwestern town. The recruitment message read, ‘‘Volunteers are needed to partici￾pate in dissertation research about the issues of 834 Journal of Marriage and Family

Missing the Marital Transition 835 marriage in single women's lives.The research prior to conducting data collection and analysis will examine the experience of women in their (Porter,1998).The intent of bracketing is to min- late 20s and early 30s who are not married." imize researchers'influence on data collection The criteria for inclusion were listed as well. and interpretation.As researchers set aside con- Snowball sampling also was used to recruit par- ventional knowledge,including theories,empiri- ticipants.Interested women were asked to call cal data,and cultural norms,as well as their own or e-mail the first author to arrange interviews. personal experiences related to the phenomena If an interested individual met all criteria,a pre- of interest,they focus on the participants'experi- liminary interview was scheduled in which the ences (Porter,1998).Bracketing conventional first author went to a mutually agreed-upon loca- knowledge is reflected in the literature review, tion (ensuring privacy)to meet the potential and bracketing of personal experience is evi- respondent,explain the study,and present the denced in other work(Sharp,2003).Bracketing informed consent form. was a continuous process throughout the study. The first author kept an ongoing journal and Participants engaged in several exercises (e.g.,meditation prior to each interview)to ensure that she was A description of the sample appears in Table 1. attending to each participant's refections of her Their occupational positions were wide-ranging experiences.Additionally,throughout the study, as were their salaries.The parents of all but three the second author examined transcripts,raising were in their first marriages,and the divorced pa- questions and offering suggestions about the in- rents had remarried at least once.All but one par- terviewee's probing in response to participants' ticipant had siblings.Three women had been reflections. engaged;five others had seriously considered Interviews lasted between 45 and 90 minutes marrying a romantic partner.Six of the women Every participant was interviewed at least three had previously cohabited with a romantic partner. times,and all the interviews with a participant All participants lived alone except one woman, were conducted within 4 weeks of the initial who lived with her best friend and her best one.Findings were verified during the final inter- friend's husband views with the last three participants.A fourth interview was conducted with two participants Procedure who were especially good informants to further Interviews.The first author conducted all the validate findings. Participants were compensated $10 for each interviews.In accord with descriptive phenome- interview.Interviews occurred where it was most nology method,the researchers'knowledge of convenient for the participants:in respondents the literature and their experiences with the phe- nomena of interest were bracketed (set aside) homes,in a private room at the public library, in an office on a university campus,and at two of the respondents'offices during lunch break and after work. Table 1.Summary of the Description of Participants Semistructured interviews were utilized to encourage informants to speak freely and to min- Age Previous relationship imize the elicitation of the interviewers'precon- (years) Occupation history ceived ideas (Porter,1998).The first question 28 Recreational therapist Engaged 1X was broad,asking respondents to describe what 28 Sales insurance agent Two serious relationships it was like to have never been married at their 28 Administrative assistant Engaged1× age.Asking such a broad question allowed the 29 Nurse Cohabited participants to direct the content of the first inter- 31 Health education Serious relationship 1X view.The first author focused on eliciting further specialist description by probing.Probes included asking 32 Child-care instructor Cohabited 1X them to“tell me more'”about something that 32 Unemployed Cohabited1× was said or what they did when a particular event 32 occurred or to"describe"what something meant. Accountant Cohabited 1X 34 Engineer Engaged1× Participants were encouraged to focus thought- 34 Engineer No serious relationship fully on the experiences they were describing. As the interview proceeded,if participants did

marriage in single women’s lives. The research will examine the experience of women in their late 20s and early 30s who are not married.’’ The criteria for inclusion were listed as well. Snowball sampling also was used to recruit par￾ticipants. Interested women were asked to call or e-mail the first author to arrange interviews. If an interested individual met all criteria, a pre￾liminary interview was scheduled in which the first author went to a mutually agreed-upon loca￾tion (ensuring privacy) to meet the potential respondent, explain the study, and present the informed consent form. Participants A description of the sample appears in Table 1. Their occupational positions were wide-ranging as were their salaries. The parents of all but three were in their first marriages, and the divorced pa￾rents had remarried at least once. All but one par￾ticipant had siblings. Three women had been engaged; five others had seriously considered marrying a romantic partner. Six of the women had previously cohabited with a romantic partner. All participants lived alone except one woman, who lived with her best friend and her best friend’s husband. Procedure Interviews. The first author conducted all the interviews. In accord with descriptive phenome￾nology method, the researchers’ knowledge of the literature and their experiences with the phe￾nomena of interest were bracketed (set aside) prior to conducting data collection and analysis (Porter, 1998). The intent of bracketing is to min￾imize researchers’ influence on data collection and interpretation. As researchers set aside con￾ventional knowledge, including theories, empiri￾cal data, and cultural norms, as well as their own personal experiences related to the phenomena of interest, they focus on the participants’ experi￾ences (Porter, 1998). Bracketing conventional knowledge is reflected in the literature review, and bracketing of personal experience is evi￾denced in other work (Sharp, 2003). Bracketing was a continuous process throughout the study. The first author kept an ongoing journal and engaged in several exercises (e.g., meditation prior to each interview) to ensure that she was attending to each participant’s reflections of her experiences. Additionally, throughout the study, the second author examined transcripts, raising questions and offering suggestions about the in￾terviewee’s probing in response to participants’ reflections. Interviews lasted between 45 and 90 minutes. Every participant was interviewed at least three times, and all the interviews with a participant were conducted within 4 weeks of the initial one. Findings were verified during the final inter￾views with the last three participants. A fourth interview was conducted with two participants who were especially good informants to further validate findings. Participants were compensated $10 for each interview. Interviews occurred where it was most convenient for the participants: in respondents’ homes, in a private room at the public library, in an office on a university campus, and at two of the respondents’ offices during lunch break and after work. Semistructured interviews were utilized to encourage informants to speak freely and to min￾imize the elicitation of the interviewers’ precon￾ceived ideas (Porter, 1998). The first question was broad, asking respondents to describe what it was like to have never been married at their age. Asking such a broad question allowed the participants to direct the content of the first inter￾view. The first author focused on eliciting further description by probing. Probes included asking them to ‘‘tell me more’’ about something that was said or what they did when a particular event occurred or to ‘‘describe’’ what something meant. Participants were encouraged to focus thought￾fully on the experiences they were describing. As the interview proceeded, if participants did Table 1. Summary of the Description of Participants Age (years) Occupation Previous relationship history 28 Recreational therapist Engaged 13 28 Sales insurance agent Two serious relationships 28 Administrative assistant Engaged 13 29 Nurse Cohabited 31 Health education specialist Serious relationship 13 32 Child-care instructor Cohabited 13 32 Unemployed Cohabited 13 32 Accountant Cohabited 13 34 Engineer Engaged 13 34 Engineer No serious relationship Missing the Marital Transition 835