2, Structural complication all the sentences are structurally complicated to some extent though most of them are complicated at phrasal level rather than at sentential level. For example, in the first sentence, the two past participles in the predicate are in coordination, and there are a number of prepositional phrases together with an adjective phrase and an infinitive phrase. Ir n th le second sentence, there is an absolute nominal construction together with other structural complications and other sentences are complicated in similar ways. In addition, all the sentences vary in length, rhetoric structure and grammatical structure
• 2. Structural complication： • all the sentences are structurally complicated to some extent though most of them are complicated at phrasal level rather than at sentential level. For example, in the first sentence, the two past participles in the predicate are in coordination; and there are a number of prepositional phrases together with an adjective phrase and an infinitive phrase. In the second sentence, there is an absolute nominal construction together with other structural complications; and other sentences are complicated in similar ways. In addition, all the sentences vary in length, rhetoric structure and grammatical structure
3. Structural formality All the sentences are structurally formal for their grammatical completeness and freedom from any colloquial structure 4 Parallel structure Parallel structure are frequently used, for example, initiated and vigorously pursued; an ever-growing number of mandates and human ights challenges around the world; principles and norms, and promoting and protecting
• 3. Structural formality： • All the sentences are structurally formal for their grammatical completeness and freedom from any colloquial structure. • 4. Parallel structure： • Parallel structure are frequently used, for example, initiated and vigorously pursued; an ever-growing number of mandates and human rights challenges around the world; principles and norms; and promoting and protecting
5 Lexical cohesive device Examples could be found as follows: the High Commissioner, commission and human rights are repeated; initiative is used as a partial repetition for initiate, and so on 6, Lexical formality: Formal words, including nominalizations, can be easily located such as commissioner, initiate, vigorously, pursue, restructuring, and many others
• 5. Lexical cohesive device： • Examples could be found as follows: the High Commissioner, commission and human rights are repeated; initiative is used as a partial repetition for initiate; and so on. • 6. Lexical formality： • Formal words, including nominalizations, can be easily located such as commissioner, initiate, vigorously, pursue, restructuring, and many others
2)Staged translation A)Translation 1 级专员已经启动了并不遗佘力地追求人权中心改组,目的是确保书记处能够提供最高 作标 地回应 求和世界范围内的人权挑战。人权专署是世界 人权成 则和 的论坛,必须为高级专员提供支持,为他更加增强决心来促进和保护所有的人权 权工作的最重要 Comments: The translation of the first three sentences, though word for word sentence for sentence, are basically acceptable, For in the translating process what should be fronted and readjusted has been fronted and readjusted already. However, that of the last two sentences are beyond the Chinese norm, which, in the case of expressing the similar ideas, would require two sentences 为提供更多的支持,以便他.。这样做是很有必要的.Thi is analysis points to the le necessity improvement to be made on the translation. In addition,与此平行 at the very beginning is not a typical Chinese expression for the context;这个目的的达到,只有通过将原则和规范转换成影响 生活方式的具体的做法 could be readjusted, and so on
2) Staged translation: • A) Translation 1: • 与此平行，高级专员已经启动了并不遗余力地追求人权中心改组，目的是确保书记处能够提供最高 的工作标准，以有效地回应不断增长的官方要求和世界范围内的人权挑战。人权专署是世界上唯一 的论坛，其主要目的是让享受人权成为所有的人的一种现实。这个目的的达到，只有通过将原则和 规范转换成影响人们生活方式的具体的做法。在这样做的时候，人权专署也可以提供更大的动力， 为正在采取的启动行动的高级专员。下面的做法是有必要的，专署，作为致力于人权工作的最重要 的论坛，必须为高级专员提供支持，为他更加增强决心来促进和保护所有的人权。 • Comments: • The translation of the first three sentences, though word for word, sentence for sentence, are basically acceptable. For in the translating process, what should be fronted and readjusted has been fronted and readjusted already. However, that of the last two sentences are beyond the Chinese norm, which, in the case of expressing the similar ideas, would require two sentences like this: 在这样做的时候，人权专署也可以为……提供更大的动力; and 作为……，专署必须 为……提供更多的支持，以便他……。这样做是很有必要的. This analysis points to the necessity for improvement to be made on the translation. In addition, 与此平行at the very beginning is not a typical Chinese expression for the context; 这个目的的达到，只有通过将原则和规范转换成影响 人们生活方式的具体的做法could be readjusted, and so on
o B)Translation 2 员已经启动并正在竭力追求重组人权中心,以确保书记处能够 提供最好 准来 地回应日益增 令和世界范围内的人权 其 有人权变为现 将原则和规范都转 人权 做好 的芰持,似他在徒矬和维护苈的人版事务中龍下更大的心 Comments Improvements have been made on the readability, coherence and authenticity with the proper choice of words and sentence patterns. For example, the patterns proposed in the above comments are now used; [t is substituted for与此 and readjustments are made in accordance with what is previously commented on about other translations. Consequentl the translation, now without any foreignized structure, is much more readable coherent and authentic
• B) Translation 2: • 同样，高级专员已经启动并正在竭力追求重组人权中心，以确保书记处能够 提供最好的工作标准来有效地回应日益增长的官方指令和世界范围内的人权 挑战。人权专署是唯一的世界论坛，其主要目的是将人人都享有人权变为现 实。这个目标，只有通过将原则和规范都转换成影响人们的生活方式的具体 行动，才能达到。这样做，人权专署就能为高级专员做好正在启动的工作提 供更大的动力。作为致力于人权工作的最重要的论坛，专署必须为高级专员 提供必要的支持，以便他在促进和维护所有的人权事务中能下更大的决心。 • Comments: • Improvements have been made on the readability, coherence and authenticity with the proper choice of words and sentence patterns. For example, the patterns proposed in the above comments are now used; 同样 is substituted for 与此平行; and readjustments are made in accordance with what is previously commented on about other translations. Consequently, the translation, now without any foreignized structure, is much more readable, coherent and authentic