Summer 1980 635 Barry, Daly, Griffin, Russell and van de ven, and Brownmiller, and her obsession with psychology to the neglect of economic and other material realities that help to create psychological reality ), I find utterly ahistorical Dinnerstein's view of the relations between women and men as"a collab- oration to keep history mad. " She means by this, to perpetuate social relations which are hostile, exploitive, and destructive to life itself. She sees women and men as equal partners in the making of"sexual ar- rangements, seemingly unaware of the repeated struggles of women to resist oppression(our own and that of others)and to change our condi tion. She ignores, specifically, the history of women who-as witches femmes seules, marriage resisters, spinsters, autonomous widows, and/or lesbians--have managed on varying levels not to collaborate. It is this tory, precisely, from which feminists have so much to lea arn a which there is overall such blanketing silence. Dinnerstein acknowledges at the end of her book that"female separatism, " though"on a large scale and in the long run wildly impractical, "has something to teach us: "Sepa rate, women could in principle set out to learn from scratch undeflected by the opportunities to evade this task that mens presence has so far offered--what intact self-creative humanness is. 9 Phrases like intact self-creative humanness"obscure the question of what the many forms of female separatism have actually been addressing. The fact is that women in every culture and throughout history have undertaken the task of independent, nonheterosexual, woman-connected existence to the extent made possible by their context, often in the belief that they were the"only ones"ever to have done so. They have undertaken it even though few women have been in an economic position to resist marriage altogether; and even though attacks against unmarried women have ranged from aspersion and mockery to deliberate gynocide, including the burning and torturing of millions of widows and spinsters during the witch persecutions of the fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth centurie in Europe, and the practice of suttee on widows in India. 10 Nancy Chodorow does come close to the edge of an acknowled ment of lesbian existence. Like Dinnerstein, Chodorow believes that the fact that women, and women only, are responsible for child care in the exual division of labor has led to an entire social organization of gender inequality,and that men as well as women must become primary carers for children if that inequality is to change. In the process of examining from a psychoanalytic perspective, how mothering- by-women affects the psychological development of girl and boy children, she offers docu mentation that men are "emotionally secondary"in women s lives; that 8. Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape(New York: Simon Schuster, 1975 10.Daly,pP.18485;11433
Summer 1980 635 Barry, Daly, Griffin, Russell and van de Ven, and Brownmiller,8 and her obsession with psychology to the neglect of economic and other material realities that help to create psychological reality), I find utterly ahistorical Dinnerstein's view of the relations between women and men as "a collaboration to keep history mad." She means by this, to perpetuate social relations which are hostile, exploitive, and destructive to life itself. She sees women and men as equal partners in the making of "sexual arrangements," seemingly unaware of the repeated struggles of women to resist oppression (our own and that of others) and to change our condition. She ignores, specifically, the history of women who-as witches, femmes seules, marriage resisters, spinsters, autonomous widows, and/or lesbians-have managed on varying levels not to collaborate. It is this history, precisely, from which feminists have so much to learn and on which there is overall such blanketing silence. Dinnerstein acknowledges at the end of her book that "female separatism," though "on a large scale and in the long run wildly impractical," has something to teach us: "Separate, women could in principle set out to learn from scratchundeflected by the opportunities to evade this task that men's presence has so far offered-what intact self-creative humanness is."9 Phrases like "intact self-creative humanness" obscure the question of what the many forms of female separatism have actually been addressing. The fact is that women in every culture and throughout history have undertaken the task of independent, nonheterosexual, woman-connected existence, to the extent made possible by their context, often in the belief that they were the "only ones" ever to have done so. They have undertaken it even though few women have been in an economic position to resist marriage altogether; and even though attacks against unmarried women have ranged from aspersion and mockery to deliberate gynocide, including the burning and torturing of millions of widows and spinsters during the witch persecutions of the fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth centuries in Europe, and the practice of suttee on widows in India.10 Nancy Chodorow does come close to the edge of an acknowledgment of lesbian existence. Like Dinnerstein, Chodorow believes that the fact that women, and women only, are responsible for child care in the sexual division of labor has led to an entire social organization of gender inequality, and that men as well as women must become primary carers for children if that inequality is to change. In the process of examining, from a psychoanalytic perspective, how mothering-by-women affects the psychological development of girl and boy children, she offers documentation that men are "emotionally secondary" in women's lives; that 8. Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will: Men, Women and Rape (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1975). 9. Dinnerstein, p. 272. 10. Daly, pp. 184-85; 114-33. Signs
636 Rich Compulsory Heterosexuality women have a richer, ongoing inner world to fall back on.. men m\ not become as emotionally important to women as women do to men This would carry into the late twentieth century Smith-Rosenberg's findings about eighteenth-and nineteenth-century women's emotional focus on women. Emotionally important "can of course refer to anger as well as to love or to that intense mixture of the two often found in women's relationships with women: one aspe of what i hay call the"double-life of women"(see below ) Chodorow concludes that because women have women as mothers, "The mother remains a pr mary internal object [sic] to the girl, so that heterosexual relationship are on the model of a nonexclusive, second relationship for her, whereas for the boy they recreate an exclusive, primary relationship. "According to Chodorow, women"have learned to deny the limitations of masculine lovers for both psychological and practical reasons. 2 But the practical reasons (like witch burnings, male ol of law eology, and science, or economic nonviability within the sexual division of labor) are glossed over. Chodorow's account barely glances at the constraints and sanctions which, historically, have enforced or insured the coupling of women with men and obstructed or penalized our cou pling or allying in independent groups with other women. She dismisses lesbian existence with the comment that"lesbian relationships do tend to re-create mother-daughter emotions and connections, but most women are heterosexual"(implied: more mature, having developed beyond the mother-daughter connection). She then adds: "This heterosexual pref erence and taboos on homosexuality, in addition to objective economic dependence on men, make the option of primary sexual bonds with other women unlikely-though more prevalent in recent years. 13 The significance of that qualification seems irresistible--but Chodorow does not explore it further. Is she saying that lesbian existence has become more visible in recent years(in certain groups? ) that economic and other pressures have changed(under capitalism, socialism, or both:? ) and that consequently more women are rejecting the heterosexual"choice"? She argues that women want children because their heterosexual re lationships lack richness and intensity, that in having a child a womaN seeks to re-create her own intense relationship with her mother. It seems o be that on the basis of her own findings, Chodorow leads us implicitly o conclude that heterosexuality is not a " preference"for women; that for one thing, it fragments the erotic from the emotional in a way that women find impoverishing and painful. Yet her book participates in mandating it. Neglecting the covert socializations and the overt forces which have channelled women into marriage and heterosexual romance I 1. Chodorow, pp, 197-98 2.Ibid,pp.198-99 13.Ibid.,p.200
Compulsory Heterosexuality "women have a richer, ongoing inner world to fall back on.... men do not become as emotionally important to women as women do to men."'' This would carry into the late twentieth century Smith-Rosenberg's findings about eighteenth- and nineteenth-century women's emotional focus on women. "Emotionally important" can of course refer to anger as well as to love, or to that intense mixture of the two often found in women's relationships with women: one aspect of what I have come to call the "double-life of women" (see below). Chodorow concludes that because women have women as mothers, "The mother remains a primary internal object [sic] to the girl, so that heterosexual relationships are on the model of a nonexclusive, second relationship for her, whereas for the boy they recreate an exclusive, primary relationship." According to Chodorow, women "have learned to deny the limitations of masculine lovers for both psychological and practical reasons."'2 But the practical reasons (like witch burnings, male control of law, theology, and science, or economic nonviability within the sexual division of labor) are glossed over. Chodorow's account barely glances at the constraints and sanctions which, historically, have enforced or insured the coupling of women with men and obstructed or penalized our coupling or allying in independent groups with other women. She dismisses lesbian existence with the comment that "lesbian relationships do tend to re-create mother-daughter emotions and connections, but most women are heterosexual" (implied: more mature, having developed beyond the mother-daughter connection). She then adds: "This heterosexual preference and taboos on homosexuality, in addition to objective economic dependence on men, make the option of primary sexual bonds with other women unlikely-though more prevalent in recent years."'3 The significance of that qualification seems irresistible-but Chodorow does not explore it further. Is she saying that lesbian existence has become more visible in recent years (in certain groups?), that economic and other pressures have changed (under capitalism, socialism, or both?), and that consequently more women are rejecting the heterosexual "choice"? She argues that women want children because their heterosexual relationships lack richness and intensity, that in having a child a woman seeks to re-create her own intense relationship with her mother. It seems to be that on the basis of her own findings, Chodorow leads us implicitly to conclude that heterosexuality is not a "preference" for women; that, for one thing, it fragments the erotic from the emotional in a way that women find impoverishing and painful. Yet her book participates in mandating it. Neglecting the covert socializations and the overt forces which have channelled women into marriage and heterosexual romance, 11. Chodorow, pp. 197-98. 12. Ibid., pp. 198-99. 13. Ibid., p. 200. 636 Rich
Summer 1980 637 pressures ranging from the selling of daughters to postindustrial eco nomics to the silences of literature to the images of the television screen she, like Dinnerstein, is stuck with trying to reform a man-made stitution--compulsory heterosexuality-as if, despite profound emo tional impulses and complementarities drawing women toward women. there is a mystical/biological heterosexual inclination, a"preference"or "choice"which draws women toward men Moreover, it is understood that this"preference"does not need to be explained, unless through the tortuous theory of the female Oedipus omplex or the necessity for species reproduction. It is lesbian sexuality which(usually, and, incorrectly, "included"under male homosexuality seen as requiring explanation. This assumption of female heterosex- uality seems to me in itself remarkable: it is an enormous assumption to have glided so silently into the foundations of our thought The extension of this assumption is the frequently heard assertion that in a world of genuine equality, where men were nonoppressive and nurturing, everyone would be bisexual. Such a notion blurs and sen timentalizes the actualities within which women have experienced sexu ality; it is the old liberal leap across the tasks and struggles of here and now, the continuing process of sexual definition which will generate its own possibilities and choices. (It also assumes that women who have chosen women have done so simply because men are oppressive and emotionally unavailable: which still fails to account for women who con tinue to pursue relationships with oppressive and/or emotionally un- satisfying men. ) I am suggesting that heterosexuality, like motherhood, needs to be recognized and studied as a political institution-even,or especially, by those individuals who feel they are, in their personal e perience, the precursors of a new social relation between the sexes If women are the earliest sources of emotional caring and physical nurture for both female and male children, it would seem logical, from a feminist perspective at least, to pose the following questions: whether the search for love and tenderness in both sexes does not originally lead toward women; why in fact women would ever redirect that search; why species-survival, the means of impregnation, and emotionalerotic re- lationships should ever have become so rigidly identified with each other; and why such violent strictures should be found necessary to enforce women's total emotional, erotic loyalty and subservience to men. I doubt that enough feminist scholars and theorists have taken the pains to acknowledge the societal forces which wrench women's emo- from themselves and oth
Summer 1980 637 pressures ranging from the selling of daughters to postindustrial economics to the silences of literature to the images of the television screen, she, like Dinnerstein, is stuck with trying to reform a man-made institution-compulsory heterosexuality-as if, despite profound emotional impulses and complementarities drawing women toward women, there is a mystical/biological heterosexual inclination, a "preference" or "choice" which draws women toward men. Moreover, it is understood that this "preference" does not need to be explained, unless through the tortuous theory of the female Oedipus complex or the necessity for species reproduction. It is lesbian sexuality which (usually, and, incorrectly, "included" under male homosexuality) is seen as requiring explanation. This assumption of female heterosexuality seems to me in itself remarkable: it is an enormous assumption to have glided so silently into the foundations of our thought. The extension of this assumption is the frequently heard assertion that in a world of genuine equality, where men were nonoppressive and nurturing, everyone would be bisexual. Such a notion blurs and sentimentalizes the actualities within which women have experienced sexuality; it is the old liberal leap across the tasks and struggles of here and now, the continuing process of sexual definition which will generate its own possibilities and choices. (It also assumes that women who have chosen women have done so simply because men are oppressive and emotionally unavailable: which still fails to account for women who continue to pursue relationships with oppressive and/or emotionally unsatisfying men.) I am suggesting that heterosexuality, like motherhood, needs to be recognized and studied as a political institution-even, or especially, by those individuals who feel they are, in their personal experience, the precursors of a new social relation between the sexes. II If women are the earliest sources of emotional caring and physical nurture for both female and male children, it would seem logical, from a feminist perspective at least, to pose the following questions: whether the search for love and tenderness in both sexes does not originally lead toward women; why in fact women would ever redirect that search; why species-survival, the means of impregnation, and emotional/erotic relationships should ever have become so rigidly identified with each other; and why such violent strictures should be found necessary to enforce women's total emotional, erotic loyalty and subservience to men. I doubt that enough feminist scholars and theorists have taken the pains to acknowledge the societal forces which wrench women's emotional and erotic energies away from themselves and other women and Signs
638 Rich Compulsory Heter from woman-identified values. These forces, as I shall try to show, range rom literal physical enslavement to the disguising and distorting of possible options I do not, myself, assume that mothering-by-women is a"sufficient cause " of lesbian existence. But the issue of mothering-by-women ha been much in the air of late, usually accompa anied by the view that increased parenting by men would minimize antagonism between the exes and equalize the sexual imbalance of power of males over females These discussions are carried on without reference to compulsory het- erosexuality as a phenomenon let alone as an ideology. I do not wish to psychologize here, but rather to identify sources of male power. I believe large numbers of men could, in fact, undertake child care on a large ale without radically altering the balance of male power in a male In her essay"The Origin of the Family, "Kathleen Gough lists eight characteristics of male power in archaic and contemporary societies which I would like to use as a framework: men's ability to deny wo exuality or to force it upon them; to command or exploit their labor control their produce; to control or rob them of their children;to confine them physically and prevent their movement; to use them as objects in male transactions; to cramp their creativeness; or to withhold from them large areas of the society's knowledge and cultural attain ments. 4( Gough does not perceive these power-characteristics as specifically enforcing heterosexuality: only as producing sexual in equality ) Below, Goughs words appear in italics; the elaboration of each of her categories, in brackets, is my own Characteristics of male power include the power of men 1. to deny women [our own] sexuality [by means of clitoridectomy and infibulation; chastity belts; punishment, including death, for female adultery; punishment, including death, for lesbian sexuality: psychoanalytic denial of he clitoris; strictures against masturbation; denial of maternal nd postmenopausal sensuality; unnecessary hysterectomy; pseudolesbian images in media and literature; closing of archives and des of documents relating to lesbian existence 2. or to force it [male sexuality] upon them [by means of rape(including marital rape) and wife beating father-daughter, brother-sister incest; the socialization of women to feel that male sexual"amounts to a right; 1s idealization 14. Kathleen Gough, The Origin of the Family, "in Toward an Anthropology of women, Rayna[ Rapp] Reiter(New York: Monthly Review Press, 1975), Pp 69-70 ry,PP.216-19
Compulsory Heterosexuality from woman-identified values. These forces, as I shall try to show, range from literal physical enslavement to the disguising and distorting of possible options. I do not, myself, assume that mothering-by-women is a "sufficient cause" of lesbian existence. But the issue of mothering-by-women has been much in the air of late, usually accompanied by the view that increased parenting by men would mninimize antagonism between the sexes and equalize the sexual imbalance of power of males over females. These discussions are carried on without reference to compulsory heterosexuality as a phenomenon let alone as an ideology. I do not wish to psychologize here, but rather to identify sources of male power. I believe large numbers of men could, in fact, undertake child care on a large scale without radically altering the balance of male power in a maleidentified society. In her essay "The Origin of the Family," Kathleen Gough lists eight characteristics of male power in archaic and contemporary societies which I would like to use as a framework: "men's ability to deny women sexuality or to force it upon them; to command or exploit their labor to control their produce; to control or rob them of their children; to confine them physically and prevent their movement; to use them as objects in male transactions; to cramp their creativeness; or to withhold from them large areas of the society's knowledge and cultural attainments."14 (Gough does not perceive these power-characteristics as specifically enforcing heterosexuality; only as producing sexual inequality.) Below, Gough's words appear in italics; the elaboration of each of her categories, in brackets, is my own. Characteristics of male power include: the power of men 1. to deny women [our own] sexuality [by means of clitoridectomy and infibulation; chastity belts; punishment, including death, for female adultery; punishment, including death, for lesbian sexuality; psychoanalytic denial of the clitoris; strictures against masturbation; denial of maternal and postmenopausal sensuality; unnecessary hysterectomy; pseudolesbian images in media and literature; closing of archives and destruction of documents relating to lesbian existence]; 2. or to force it [male sexuality] upon them [by means of rape (including marital rape) and wife beating; father-daughter, brother-sister incest; the socialization of women to feel that male sexual "drive" amounts to a right;15 idealization 14. Kathleen Gough, "The Origin of the Family," in Toward an Anthropology of Women, ed. Rayna [Rapp] Reiter (New York: Monthly Review Press, 1975), pp. 69-70. 15. Barry, pp. 216-19. 638 Rich
Summer 1980 639 of heterosexual romance in art, literature, media, advertising etc;child marriage; arranged marriage; prostitution; the harem psychoanalytic doctrines of frigidity and vaginal orgasm; por onding violence and humiliation(a subliminal message being that sadistic heterosexuality is more "normal"than sensuality between wom en)]; 3. to command or exploit their labor to control their produce [by means of the institutions of marriage and motherhood as unpaid production; the horizontal segregation of women in paid employment; the decoy of the upwardly mobile token woman male control of abortion, contraception, and childbirth; enforced sterilization;pimping; female infanticide, which robs mothers of daughters and contributes to generalized devaluation of wom- 4. to control or rob them of their children [by means of father-right and"legal kidnapping", 16 enforced sterilization; systematized infanticide of children from lesbian mothers by the courts; the malpractice of male obstetric of the mother as“ token rturer"?in genital mutilation or in binding the daughters feet(or mind)to fit her for marriage] 5. to confine them physically and prevent their movement [by means of rape as terrorism, keeping women off the streets purdah; foot-binding; atrophying of womens athletic capabilities; haute couture, feminine"dress codes; the veil; sex ual harassment on the streets; horizontal segregation of women ns for“ful-ti 6. to use them as objects in male transactions [use of women as"gifts"; bride-price; pimping; arranged mar- riage: use of women as entertainers to facilitate male deals, e. g wife-hostess, cocktail waitress required to dress for male sexual titillation, call girls, bunnies, geisha, hisaeng pre retaries 7. to cramp their creativeness [witch persecutions as campaigns against midwives and female healers and women: 8 definition og of male pursuits as more valuable than female within any culture, so that cultural values become em- bodiment of male subjectivity; restriction of female self- fulfillment to marriage and motherhood; sexual exploitation of women by male artists and teachers; the social and economic 16. Anna Demeter, Legal Kidnapping(Boston: Beacon Press, 1977), Pp xx, 126-28 17.Daly,Pp.132,13941,16365 18. Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English, witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of women Healers(Old Westbury, N.Y.: Feminist Press, 1973); Andrea Dworkin, Woman Hat ing(New York: E P. Dutton, 1974), Pp. 1 18-54; Daly, pp. 178-22
Summer 1980 639 of heterosexual romance in art, literature, media, advertising, etc.; child marriage; arranged marriage; prostitution; the harem; psychoanalytic doctrines of frigidity and vaginal orgasm; pornographic depictions of women responding pleasurably to sexual violence and humiliation (a subliminal message being that sadistic heterosexuality is more "normal" than sensuality between women)]; 3. to command or exploit their labor to control their produce [by means of the institutions of marriage and motherhood as unpaid production; the horizontal segregation of women in paid employment; the decoy of the upwardly mobile token woman; male control of abortion, contraception, and childbirth; enforced sterilization; pimping; female infanticide, which robs mothers of daughters and contributes to generalized devaluation of women]; 4. to control or rob them of their children [by means of father-right and "legal kidnapping";16 enforced sterilization; systematized infanticide; seizure of children from lesbian mothers by the courts; the malpractice of male obstetrics; use of the mother as "token torturer"17 in genital mutilation or in binding the daughter's feet (or mind) to fit her for marriage]; 5. to confine them physically and prevent their movement [by means of rape as terrorism, keeping women off the streets; purdah; foot-binding; atrophying of women's athletic capabilities; haute couture, "feminine" dress codes; the veil; sexual harassment on the streets; horizontal segregation of women in employment; prescriptions for "full-time" mothering; enforced economic dependence of wives]; 6. to use them as objects in male transactions [use of women as "gifts"; bride-price; pimping; arranged marriage; use of women as entertainers to facilitate male deals, e.g., wife-hostess, cocktail waitress required to dress for male sexual titillation, call girls, "bunnies," geisha, kisaeng prostitutes, secretaries]; 7. to cramp their creativeness [witch persecutions as campaigns against midwives and female healers and as pogrom against independent, "unassimilated" women;'8 definition of male pursuits as more valuable than female within any culture, so that cultural values become embodiment of male subjectivity; restriction of female selffulfillment to marriage and motherhood; sexual exploitation of women by male artists and teachers; the social and economic 16. Anna Demeter, Legal Kidnapping (Boston: Beacon Press, 1977), pp. xx, 126-28. 17. Daly, pp. 132, 139-41, 163-65. 18. Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English, Witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of Women Healers (Old Westbury, N.Y.: Feminist Press, 1973); Andrea Dworkin, Woman Hating (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1974), pp. 118-54; Daly, pp. 178-222. Signs