TextAlthough she is taking a soft line with her son at the8moment, she is clear that after an upcoming three-week trip to South America, his holiday from work willhave to end. He may even have to pay rent andcontribute to the household bills"They've got to grow up at some point. We've9finished paying for university, so a little bit of help backis good," she says. "The South America trip is thecutoff point. When he comes back there'll be Christmaswork if nothing else.Translation
8 Although she is taking a soft line with her son at the moment, she is clear that after an upcoming threeweek trip to South America, his holiday from work will have to end. He may even have to pay rent and contribute to the household bills. 9 "They've got to grow up at some point. We've finished paying for university, so a little bit of help back is good," she says. "The South America trip is the cutoff point. When he comes back there'll be Christmas work if nothing else." Text
TextGael Lindenfield, a psychotherapist and the author10of The Emotional Healinq Strategy, says that theGoodwin parents have struck exactly the right noteThe transition from university to a job is tough forparents and children: Crucially they must balancebeing positive and understanding with not making lifetoo comfortable for their offspring.Translation
10 Gael Lindenfield, a psychotherapist and the author of The Emotional Healing Strategy, says that the Goodwin parents have struck exactly the right note. The transition from university to a job is tough for parents and children: Crucially they must balance being positive and understanding with not making life too comfortable for their offspring. Text
Text"The main job for the parents is to be there11because if they start advising them what to do, thatis when the conflict starts. If you have contacts, by allmeans use those," she says. "But a lot of parents gettoo soft. Put limits on how much money you givethem, ask them to pay rent or contribute to the careof the house or the pets. Carry on life as normal anddon't allow them to abuse your bank account or sapyour reserves of emotional energy.Translation
11 "The main job for the parents is to be there because if they start advising them what to do, that is when the conflict starts. If you have contacts, by all means use those," she says. "But a lot of parents get too soft. Put limits on how much money you give them, ask them to pay rent or contribute to the care of the house or the pets. Carry on life as normal and don't allow them to abuse your bank account or sap your reserves of emotional energy." Text
TextPaying for career consultations, train fares to12interviews or books are good things; being toopushy is not. But while parents should be wary ofbecoming too soft, Lindenfield advises them to treadsympathetically after a job setback for a few days oreven weeks - depending on the scale of the knockAfter that the son or daughter needs to be nudgedfirmly back into the saddle.Translation
12 Paying for career consultations, train fares to interviews or books are good things; being too pushy is not. But while parents should be wary of becoming too soft, Lindenfield advises them to tread sympathetically after a job setback for a few days or even weeks – depending on the scale of the knock. After that the son or daughter needs to be nudged firmly back into the saddle. Text
TextBoys are more likely to get stuck at home.13Lindenfield believes that men are often better athelping their sons, nephews, or friends' sons thanare mothers and sisters. Men have a different way ofhandling setbacks than women, she says, so theyneed the male presence to talk it throughTranslation
13 Boys are more likely to get stuck at home. Lindenfield believes that men are often better at helping their sons, nephews, or friends' sons than are mothers and sisters. Men have a different way of handling setbacks than women, she says, so they need the male presence to talk it through. Text