23JaneEyrehumiliation, self-doubt, forlorn depression, fell damp on theembers of my decaying ire.All said I was wicked, and perhaps Imight be so; what thought had I been but just conceiving ofstarving myself to death? That certainly was a crime: and was I fitto die?Or was thevault under the chancel of Gateshead Churchan inviting bourne? In such vault I had been told did Mr.Reed lieburied;and ledbythisthoughttorecall hisidea,I dwelton it withgathering dread. I could not remember him; but I knew that hewas my own unclemymother'sbrother-thathehad taken mewhen a parentless infant to his house; and that in his last momentshe had required a promise of Mrs. Reed that she would rear andmaintain me as one of her own children.Mrs.Reed probablyconsidered she had kept this promise; and so she had, I dare say,as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she reallylike an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her, afterher husband's death, by any tie? It must have been most irksometo find herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the steadof a parent to a strange child she could not love, and to see anuncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group.A singular notion dawned upon me. I doubted notneverdoubted-that if Mr. Reed had been alive he would have treatedme kindly; and now, as I sat looking at the white bed andovershadowed walls-occasionally also turning a fascinated eyetowards the dimly gleaning mirrorI began to recall what I hadheard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the violation oftheir last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the perjured andavenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr.Reed's spirit, harassed bythe wrongs of his sister's child, might quit its abode-whether inthe church vault or in the unknown world of the departed-andCharlotteBronteElecBookClassics
Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë ElecBook Classics 23 humiliation, self-doubt, forlorn depression, fell damp on the embers of my decaying ire. All said I was wicked, and perhaps I might be so; what thought had I been but just conceiving of starving myself to death? That certainly was a crime: and was I fit to die? Or was the vault under the chancel of Gateshead Church an inviting bourne? In such vault I had been told did Mr. Reed lie buried; and led by this thought to recall his idea, I dwelt on it with gathering dread. I could not remember him; but I knew that he was my own uncle—my mother’s brother—that he had taken me when a parentless infant to his house; and that in his last moments he had required a promise of Mrs. Reed that she would rear and maintain me as one of her own children. Mrs. Reed probably considered she had kept this promise; and so she had, I dare say, as well as her nature would permit her; but how could she really like an interloper not of her race, and unconnected with her, after her husband’s death, by any tie? It must have been most irksome to find herself bound by a hard-wrung pledge to stand in the stead of a parent to a strange child she could not love, and to see an uncongenial alien permanently intruded on her own family group. A singular notion dawned upon me. I doubted not—never doubted—that if Mr. Reed had been alive he would have treated me kindly; and now, as I sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls—occasionally also turning a fascinated eye towards the dimly gleaning mirror—I began to recall what I had heard of dead men, troubled in their graves by the violation of their last wishes, revisiting the earth to punish the perjured and avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr. Reed’s spirit, harassed by the wrongs of his sister’s child, might quit its abode—whether in the church vault or in the unknown world of the departed—and
24JaneEyrerise before me in this chamber. I wiped my tears and hushed mysobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken apreternaturalvoicetocomfortme,orelicitfromthegloomsomehaloed face, bending over me with strange pity. This idea,consolatory in theory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with allmy might I endeavoured to stifle itI endeavoured to be firm.Shaking my hair from my eyes, I lifted my head and tried to lookboldlyround the dark room; at this moment a light gleamed on thewall. Was it, I asked myself, a ray from the moon penetrating someaperture in the blind? No; moonlight was still, and this stirred;while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over myhead.I can now conjecture readily that this streak of light was, inall likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some one acrossthelawn:but then,prepared as mymind was forhorror,shakenasmy nerves were by agitation, Ithought the swift darting beam wasa herald of some coming vision from another world.Myheartbeatthick, my head grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemedthe rushing of wings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed,suffocated:endurancebrokedown;I rushed to the door and shookthe lock in desperate effort. Steps came running along the outerpassage; thekey turned, Bessie and Abbot entered.“Miss Eyre, areyou ill?"said Bessie."What a dreadful noise! it went quite through me!" exclaimedAbbot."Take me out! Let me go into the nursery!" was my cry."What for? Are you hurt? Have you seen something?" againdemanded Bessie."Oh! I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come." I hadnow got hold of Bessie's hand, and she did not snatch it from me.CharlotteBronteElecBookClassics
Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë ElecBook Classics 24 rise before me in this chamber. I wiped my tears and hushed my sobs, fearful lest any sign of violent grief might waken a preternatural voice to comfort me, or elicit from the gloom some haloed face, bending over me with strange pity. This idea, consolatory in theory, I felt would be terrible if realised: with all my might I endeavoured to stifle it—I endeavoured to be firm. Shaking my hair from my eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly round the dark room; at this moment a light gleamed on the wall. Was it, I asked myself, a ray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind? No; moonlight was still, and this stirred; while I gazed, it glided up to the ceiling and quivered over my head. I can now conjecture readily that this streak of light was, in all likelihood, a gleam from a lantern carried by some one across the lawn: but then, prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken as my nerves were by agitation, I thought the swift darting beam was a herald of some coming vision from another world. My heart beat thick, my head grew hot; a sound filled my ears, which I deemed the rushing of wings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed, suffocated: endurance broke down; I rushed to the door and shook the lock in desperate effort. Steps came running along the outer passage; the key turned, Bessie and Abbot entered. “Miss Eyre, are you ill?” said Bessie. “What a dreadful noise! it went quite through me!” exclaimed Abbot. “Take me out! Let me go into the nursery!” was my cry. “What for? Are you hurt? Have you seen something?” again demanded Bessie. “Oh! I saw a light, and I thought a ghost would come.” I had now got hold of Bessie’s hand, and she did not snatch it from me
25JaneEyre"She has screamed out on purpose,"declared Abbot, in somedisgust."And what a scream! If she had been in great pain onewould have excused it, but she only wanted to bring us all here: Iknowhernaughtytricks.""What is all this?"demanded another voice peremptorily; andMrs.Reed came along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gownrustling stormily."Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders thatJaneEyre should beleft in thered-room till Icametoher myself."“"Miss Jane screamed soloud, ma'am,pleaded Bessie."Let her go," was the only answer."Loose Bessie's hand, child:you cannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured.Iabhor artifice, particularlyin children; it is my dutyto show youthat tricks will not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer,and it is only on condition of perfect submission and stillnessthat Ishall liberate you then.""O aunt!have pity!Forgive me!I cannot endure itlet me bepunishedsomeotherway!Ishallbekilledif""Silence! This violence is all most repulsive:" and so, no doubt,she felt it. I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerelylooked on me as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, anddangerous duplicity.Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs.Reed, impatient of mynow frantic anguish and wild sobs,abruptly thrust me back andlocked me in, without farther parley.I heard her sweeping away;and soon after she was gone, I suppose I had a species of fit:unconsciousnessclosedthescene.Charlotte BronteElecBookClassics
Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë ElecBook Classics 25 “She has screamed out on purpose,” declared Abbot, in some disgust. “And what a scream! If she had been in great pain one would have excused it, but she only wanted to bring us all here: I know her naughty tricks.” “What is all this?” demanded another voice peremptorily; and Mrs. Reed came along the corridor, her cap flying wide, her gown rustling stormily. “Abbot and Bessie, I believe I gave orders that Jane Eyre should be left in the red-room till I came to her myself.” “Miss Jane screamed so loud, ma’am,” pleaded Bessie. “Let her go,” was the only answer. “Loose Bessie’s hand, child: you cannot succeed in getting out by these means, be assured. I abhor artifice, particularly in children; it is my duty to show you that tricks will not answer: you will now stay here an hour longer, and it is only on condition of perfect submission and stillness that I shall liberate you then.” “O aunt! have pity! Forgive me! I cannot endure it—let me be punished some other way! I shall be killed if—” “Silence! This violence is all most repulsive:” and so, no doubt, she felt it. I was a precocious actress in her eyes; she sincerely looked on me as a compound of virulent passions, mean spirit, and dangerous duplicity. Bessie and Abbot having retreated, Mrs. Reed, impatient of my now frantic anguish and wild sobs, abruptly thrust me back and locked me in, without farther parley. I heard her sweeping away; and soon after she was gone, I suppose I had a species of fit: unconsciousness closed the scene
26Jane EyreChapter IIIhenextthingIremember is,wakingupwithafeelingasifT:I had had a frightful nightmare, and seeing before me aterrible red glare, crossed with thick black bars. I heardvoices, too, speaking with a hollow sound, and as if muffled by arush of wind or water:agitation, uncertainty,and an all-predominating sense of terror confused my faculties. Ere long, Ibecame aware that some one was handling me; lifting me up andsupporting me in a sitting posture, and that more tenderly than Ihad ever been raised or upheld before. I rested my head against apilloworanarm,andfelteasy.In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved:Iknew quite well that I was in my own bed, and that the red glarewas the nursery fire. It was night: a candle burnt on the table;Bessie stood at the bed-foot with a basin in her hand. and agentleman sat in a chair nearmypillow,leaning over me.Ifelt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protectionand security, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room,an individual not belonging to Gateshead., and not related to Mrs.Reed. Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far lessobnoxious to me than that of Abbot,for instance,would havebeen), I scrutinised the face of the gentleman: I knew him; it wasMr. Lloyd, an apothecary, sometimes called in by Mrs. Reed whenthe servants were ailing: for herself and the children she employeda physician."Well,whoamI?"heasked.Ipronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand:CharlotteBronteElecBookClassics
Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë ElecBook Classics 26 Chapter III he next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a frightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed with thick black bars. I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow sound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation, uncertainty, and an allpredominating sense of terror confused my faculties. Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me; lifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture, and that more tenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before. I rested my head against a pillow or an arm, and felt easy. In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite well that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery fire. It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed-foot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my pillow, leaning over me. I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and security, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an individual not belonging to Gateshead., and not related to Mrs. Reed. Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me than that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the face of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary, sometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for herself and the children she employed a physician. “Well, who am I?” he asked. I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: T
27Jane Eyrehe took it, smiling and saying, "We shall do very well by-and-by."Thenhelaid medown,andaddressingBessie,chargedher tobevery careful that I was not disturbed during the night. Havinggiven some further directions, and intimates that he should callagain the next day, he departed; to my grief: I felt so sheltered andbefriended while he sat in the chair near my pillow; and as heclosed the door after him, all the room darkened and my heartagain sank:inexpressible sadness weighed it down.“Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?"asked Bessie, rathersoftly.Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentencemightberough."Iwill try.""Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?"“"No,thankyou,Bessie.""Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; butyou may call me if you want anything in the night."Wonderful civility this! It emboldened me to ask a question."Bessie,whatis thematterwithme?AmIill?""You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you'll bebettersoon,nodoubt."Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near. Iheard her say-"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for mylife be alone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it's such astrange thing she should have that fit: I wonder if she sawanything.Missis wasrathertoohard."Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they werewhispering together for half-an-hour before they fell asleep.Icaught scraps of their conversation,from which I was able only tooCharlotte BronteElecBookClassics
Jane Eyre Charlotte Brontë ElecBook Classics 27 he took it, smiling and saying, “We shall do very well by-and-by.” Then he laid me down, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was not disturbed during the night. Having given some further directions, and intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my grief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near my pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and my heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down. “Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?” asked Bessie, rather softly. Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be rough. “I will try.” “Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?” “No, thank you, Bessie.” “Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o’clock; but you may call me if you want anything in the night.” Wonderful civility this! It emboldened me to ask a question. “Bessie, what is the matter with me? Am I ill?” “You fell sick, I suppose, in the red-room with crying; you’ll be better soon, no doubt.” Bessie went into the housemaid’s apartment, which was near. I heard her say— “Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren’t for my life be alone with that poor child to-night: she might die; it’s such a strange thing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything. Missis was rather too hard.” Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering together for half-an-hour before they fell asleep. I caught scraps of their conversation, from which I was able only too